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Volunteer work. I signed up for Axon 2012 Service Learning. Commonapp 2.0 (be my savior)


houshina 2 / 4  
Oct 1, 2012   #1
These days, it is usual to participate in community services. Thinking the best one should provide a two-way benefit, I signed up for Axon 2012 Service Learning.

Axon was an event under the effort of non-profit organizations, students and educational experts. It encouraged using service learning to solve social issues. So, it benefited those in need and the participants.

I can recall the process. On the first day, we were divided into groups. After discussing, mine decided to take the Little Rose shelter's orphans round the Museum of Vietnamese History and the Independence Palace. Then arrived an effortful month. We had our hands full with raising funds, making arrangements and reviewing history knowledge.

At last came the big day. First, we headed for the museum. So eager was my team to learn history that all my weariness vanished. Next, after the break was the Palace. The kids were so elated about it that they kept talking. Considering how exhilarated everyone was, the tour was deemed a success.

Though our trip ended, it still had an impact on me. While the children learned about history, we brushed up on our knowledge. Hence, the experience remains a great achievement in my life.

Lainedeluna 1 / 7  
Oct 10, 2012   #2
Just thought I would add few small corrections. Great essay by the way.

These days, it is usualthe norm to participate in community services. I would stay away from a phrase like 'the norm'. It is a bit too colloquial.

If you want to try and restructure the first sentence, how about this? " Nowadays, it is not uncommon to participate in community services.

Then arrived an effortful eventful/difficult month. You might want to rearrange that sentence into something like 'Then an eventful/difficult month arrived.'

So eager was my team to learn history that all my our weariness vanished. This line as well should be re-arranged. Possibly this? -> 'My team was so eager to learn that our weariness vanished.'


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