ardak 2 / 6 Dec 14, 2011 #1Hello, I will be very glad if you review this short paragraph for common app: Extracurricular activity >1000 characters, Thank youThe most fascinating extracurricular activity that I have done is volunteering in 7th Asian Winter Game. I was a captain of the rescue group. First time in my life I was responsible for others. We were an exceptional group since we were related directly to Ministry of Emergency Situation. My team was responsible for games in mountains as skiing, snowboarding and etc. To prevent emergency situation, we learnt how to work in a team and to communicate with each other. The most valuable thing in the volunteering was foreseeing of sequence of events, for we were responsible for lives of others. It required to be well organized and to act in schedule. My team members also affected me. While working with them, I became more stable to criticism and understand that some accomplishments come after mistakes that taught me some key points. By the end of volunteering, I realized how is essential to work in command, for it provided me with self confidence, punctuality and leadership.
elenazafrul 4 / 10 Dec 14, 2011 #2- I was the captain of the rescue group- It was the first time in my life being responsible for others- ... related directly to the Ministry of Emergency Situation- My team was responsible for games on the mountains such as skiing, snowboarding and etc.- ... we learned how to work in a team and communicate with each other.- The most important thing in volunteering was foreseeing the sequence of events , because we were responsible for the lives of others.- We were required to be well organized and act in schedule.- ... some accomplishments are done after learning a few key points from mistakes.- ... how it is essential ..., as it provided me ...This is the best that I can correct your essay, I'm not very good in grammar myself, but I try to help. Your essay is actually good if you could maybe correct the errors. Good luck!
