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"Volunteering at a Frame Shop" - Short statement on activity


yenna 9 / 23  
Dec 30, 2010   #1
The short statement for the commonapp :)
Thanks in advance

PROMPT:Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (150 words or fewer, 1000 character maximum).

Every Saturday I get paper cuts, get glue on my hands, cut glass and chop wood.
"Wait, you volunteer where?" people question.
I volunteer at the MWR Frame Shop on Fort Huachuca and I help by framing artwork. My mom often disapproves of me volunteering somewhere that has nothing to do with my future career, but I have learned many valuable things that make up for it. I have learned to be cautions. I have learned how to patiently, almost perfectly complete a task given to me. I have had the honor of teaching others to frame and have had the chance to bring smiles to the faces of soldiers and their families.

I love what I do at the Frame Shop. Even though I could be interning elsewhere I am glad I chose to volunteer at the Frame shop- even through all the paper cuts.
TheFreeMason11 6 / 54  
Dec 30, 2010   #2
Your essay has some mistakes. Read it out loud and you'll catch most of them. Other than that, I really like this essay. Shows a good volunteer activity that is unique, just work on the wording.

Example:

I have learned to be cautionscautious . I have learned how to bepatientlypatient

Best of luck!
canes4life 3 / 47  
Dec 30, 2010   #3
I have learned to be cautious
moealrob 3 / 13  
Dec 30, 2010   #4
I could be interning elsewhere, I am glad I chose to volunteer at the Frame shop- even through all the paper cuts.

Nice essay, the same as TheFreeMason11 try to find your grammar mistakes.

i would really appreciate it if you check out my essay please.


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