hey guys. I just done with my third draft of Common App's transfer essay ( almost completely changed ) and felt really uncertain about it. Is there any one willing to criticize my work? I do need harsh criticisms and really appreciate it. I can read yours in return. Thanks very much.
During my first semester of college, I spent almost a hundred and fifty hours volunteering and working as a technician at Widernet Project. My time working on there was not easy - as lacking computer science expertise, I had to learn C language through Internet forums and open courses of other universities, without directions from a real person. I even spent three days testing merely for understanding the value types returned by functions. Nevertheless, I loved the time spent on there. I worked with many passionate faculties, practically learnt the structure of computer and began to appreciate the pleasure of reflection.
Actually I was not really know what I wanted to do in the future- as my transcript shown, I chose different courses across different disciplines in the first semester of college. I originally applied for University of Iowa for the interests in Business, so were most of my extracurricular activities leadership-developing. But as the college courses went by, I gradually realized in which my passion lied. Once I asked my computer science's professor about the way to improve of my homework codes, as I used twenty more instructions to do the same work than he did. He just easily replaced three variables using the known ones then let the variables linked with each other to construct the whole program instead of merely piled them up like me. That is first the time I really got a clue about what my professor called elegance of computer science. The brilliance behind quick sort algorithm, the linkage within recursive functions and the power showed by a set of simple Turing machines all have obsessive appeals to me. Through self-studying C language, I felt even clear the things intrigue me are the ease of practicing my ideas by programming, the accomplishments derived from the correct results poped up on the screen when I ran programs I wrote and the rigorous logic behind science of computer and mathematics.
Yet after changed to computer science major I soon came to realize some issues in my current college. [my university] is more of a art-strong university. So I found the CS major courses provided in here are too general and not well rounded enough. Something I found intriguing are not provided in high-devision courses like graph theory and compiler design. And when I asked some of my friends in other engineering-strong universities I found the same science courses in those universities are more challenging. Also there is not even a computer science club so I can hardly find people have the same interests. By attending UW, I hope to join computer science communities for acquainting people with same passions, to volunteer in more projects for learning and accumulating knowledge to a level of a qualified professional.
My reasons for transfer have aspect other than academic as well. I originally applied to [my university] for the reason of trying to live in a place contrast to my home, but upon the first semester in here I had to say that peaceful and slow-pace life is not that suitable for me. People at here are more tend to party and play video games in their spare time as I appreciate a serious and competitive academic circumstance. Considering a bigger city also contact more with companies, which is extremely helpful for finding internships in the future, I am now miss the circumstance like that of my hometown.
As my transcript shown, I did pretty well on [my university] and I am convinced the positive life in UW would only spur my potential. I really desire to persue my goal in UW and will definitely pay the maximum amount effort to take the advantage of your program.
Hi :) I can try to help:
During my first semester of college, I spent almost a hundred and fifty hours volunteering and working as a technician at Widernet Project. My time working on there was not easy - as I lacked computer science expertise. I had to learn C language through Internet forums and open courses ofat other universities, without directionsinstruction from a real person. I even spent three days testing just to understand the value types returned by functions. Nevertheless, I loved the time I spent onworking there. I worked with many passionate facultiesstaff members , nearly learned the entire structure of a computer, and began to appreciate the pleasure of reflection.
Actually, I wasdid not really know what I wanted to do in the future.As my transcript shows , I chose different courses acrossdifferentin various disciplines in theduring my first semester of college.
Great topic and you have an interesting paper! You have grammar issues throughout your essay. For your conclusion, make it at least a few sentences long, I hope my suggestions can help you. Good luck :)
