My dream college is a place where I can get a truly high-quality education, a place where I come to develop my abilities and make the most of my learning experience, a place where I can expand my worldview and experience amazing things, a place for me to live to the fullest both responsibly and independently. It's also a place for me to enjoy intimate interaction between students and professors in a close-knit community where honesty and intellectuality are valued. Being a "Wally" will definitely make that dream a reality.
When a Wabash student once told me with great sincerity "We're proud of being Wabash men", I was struck with a strongly positive impression of the school, driving away all my preconceived ideas of an all-male college.
" Go For Wabash ! Go Wally! To Become A Gentleman "
The Wabash gentlemen's rule has captivated me since I first read about it. On reading, it conjured in my mind a strong sense of faith, honesty and responsibility. It's appreciated that in a community where learning is the top priority, morality is not de-emphasized. The rule matches well with my long-standing desire for a community of responsibility and accountability. I always try to guide myself by the principle: "You do it and you accept the consequences ". Studying at Wabash, would benefit my growth as a real man, a responsible citizen and a committed contributor to our society, and that's why Wabash always remains my top choice.
Could I avoid mentioning Wabash's rigorous academic curricula? No, for that is the crucial reason why I want to go here. I have done extensive research on many schools' academic curricula, but only in Wabash can I clearly sense a lust for learning, the strength of which sets Wabash apart from all other colleges. From talking to Wabash students, I learned that Wabash produces a high percent of alumni who go on to earn Ph.Ds, and the number of students entering graduate school every year is admirable. I am compelled to believe that the college's focus on writing, the committed and top-notch professors, the accessible and caring faculty, the invaluable off-campus learning opportunities and the diligent and hard-working students all combine to make a Wabash education a truly rigorous and meaningful one. I want to be part of that unforgettable learning experience. Wabash's challenging courses will enable me to thrive in my future career, and with a degree in Economics from Wabash, I will step confidently into the future.
Moreover, the student's pride in their school is so pervasive that I sense it everywhere.The pride reflects in its being called " Little Giants" for Wabash varsity football team is unbeatable. I want to attend the Monon Bell football game, immerse myself in the intense spirit of competition and proudly support my team. It's also the solidarity and fraternity between Wallys that really make Wabash stand out in my mind. At Wabash, I will be respected as an individual and will be given the freedom to organize my life. And I'd be filled with pride to be called "Wally" for this is the place where I truly belong.
Is it hard to be a real good and responsible man, who thrives both socially and academically ?
No. That might be the case somewhere else but at Wabash, nothing is impossible. My affection for Wabash is growing stronger and stronger every single day. The unique education and the strong sense of community that I'll be offered at Wabash are what I have always been craving for. It's Wabash College that will enable me to embark upon a new stage of my life and it's also Wabash that offers me the best of the best opportunities I can't find elsewhere
Note: Please help me with a better conclusion !!! Thks so much in advance !
First, I'll correct the punctuation for the dialogue:
When a Wabash student once told me with great sincerity, "We're proud of being Wabash men," I was struck with a strongly positive impression of the school, driving away all my preconceived ideas of an all-male college.
"Go For Wabash! Go Wally! To Become A Gentleman..."
Is it hard to be a real good and responsible man, who thrives both socially and academically?
The reason you are having trouble with the conclusion is that you don't have a common theme that you keep throughout. I mean, obviously Wabash is the theme, but you need one central truth about why it is the school for you. I like the fact that you mention a desire for the high academic standard, and that you want to challenge yourself. Maybe that could be your theme. Maybe you should mention the "rigorous academic curicula" in the opening paragraph and establish it as the theme for the essay. Then, for the conclusion, you can refer back to it.
So, what I am saying is... try taking one of the points you covered during the essay (I like the one about wanting rigorous curricula) and mention it in both the intro paragraph and the conclusion paragraph -- so that it is established as a theme for the essay. Then, your conclusion will seem brilliant, because you end by coming full circle, back to the original theme.
I hope that makes sense...