Here is a first draft of my Stanford supplement roommate essay, if you could please leave general feedback about the content and structure that would be appreciated. I'm not overly concerned with grammatical errors right now, as this is only a rough draft, but feel free to correct any egregious errors. Thanks!
I have a confession to make. I am somewhat of a nerd. I love everything about technology. If we end up living together for the next several years, we may end up with many of my half-completed projects - a portable NES or a massive toaster made from an old PC tower-- lying around and numerous burns on our carpeting from a dropped soldering iron. Don't worry, I do pick up after myself, so you will not have to worry about stepping on a piece of glass from a broken LCD screen. However, you may have to worry about possibly being woken-up in the middle of the night, because I decided to work on one of those half-completed projects and ended up dropping the soldering iron on my foot causing me to let out a good old-fashioned yelp of pain. If you ask me, politely of course, I can always build something that you want, such as an alarm that flashes bright lights and plays a recording of your mother/father's voice telling you to wake up repeatedly.
I have another confession to make. I am a bit of a fitness freak. I need physical activity, whether it is martial arts, swimming, or jogging around campus several times. I must be active in order to feel healthy and at my fullest potential. One of my personal beliefs is that an active body promotes and active mind. So, I may end up pestering you to get up and do something if you are inactive. Just like with technology, I like to try new physical enterprises; so, I may ask for your assistance in attempting a new acrobatic martial arts move like a butterfly twist kick - you will need to spot me and hopefully will not have to call 911.
I hope I don't seem too zany from this letter. I have the right amount of wackiness in me to keep you entertained and make our time together an adventure. Hopefully, our different personalities and little oddities complement each others' characteristics and we both have a wondrous time at Stanford.
Is this how you talk to your friends (who may or may not live with you?) If so , GREAT!!
I personally had the reaction that it came across very "formal" and crafted. You are writing somewhat of a "want ad " here - for your prospective roommate and prospective university. Is this what you want to convey about yourself personally? You have no other "stage" to do this so use it well!!
There seems to be a growing trend among students applying to Stanford who feel the urge to unearth their quirkiest qualities when answering this essay. I obviously have no insight into Stanford admissions, but do you feel that the best approach to answering this supplement is to show just how strange you are? While admittedly it is original and fun to read, ask yourself how would you feel if this was the letter you received from your future roommate? My suggestion would be to use this essay as a chance to convey your personality. While your prospective roommate may be interested in knowing that you are obsessed with technology and fitness, I feel the best approach would be to show your strongest personal qualities that may not come across anywhere else in your application. Good luck! AND PLEASE PROVIDE FEEDBACK FOR MY ESSAY!