Hello everyone. Please help me proofread my essay and feel free to critique it to your heart's content
uchicago - about Dr. Waldo
Galactic Bureau of Investigation Case Report
Waldo, better known as Dr. Waldo, is a very prominent scientist in the field of physics and astrophysics. Dr. Waldo is known for his penchant of playing hide-n-seek only to be found later on by his colleagues. Dr. Waldo's most recent feat led him to be unseen for 18 months and 27 days. The Galactic Bureau of Investigation (GBI) was asked by his colleagues to find and capture him; I was then assigned to this case on 3010/07/10.
Case Date and Observation:
Dr. Waldo suddenly made an appearance on the surveillance system on the planet Earth on 3011/10/01. He was immediately recognized by his trademarked dress up of a blue pants, a red-white strip shirt and a hat, and a circular glass. Dr. Waldo was then not seen until 28 days later. Reports came in on 3011/10/29 saying that Dr. Waldo was seen in Sagittarius Sector's (or Constellation's) Ascella star system's Zeta Stellar Research Station. Dr. Waldo soon left the station and the star system. After 4 days later, Dr. Waldo's appeared on the same sector's Kaus Australis star system's Stellar X-ray Research Base on 3012/10/02. Likewise he left the station and the star system without being caught even though all the stations and bases had been informed of Dr. Waldo's status. His next appearance was again after 4 day in the same sector's Alnasl star system's research station and then 4 days later Nunki star system's research station. Dr. Waldo then disappeared for 28 days and then reappeared in the Canis Major Sector's Sirius star system's research base, then Mirzam, Wezen, and Adhara star systems' research station each 4 days apart from the previous one. Dr. Waldo from there visited many other sectors and their respective stellar system in the order shown:
just some constellation and list of star
After series of appearance over Ursa Major Sector's numerous star systems, trip's locations and timing patterns had been discerned. Dr.Waldo's trips were primarily relegated to star system with traditional names in Greek or Arabic language and their research stations. Also Dr.Waldo's trip to new star system always took 4 days while a trip to new Sector took him 28 days. Unfortunately no further actions were taken in order apprehend Dr. Waldo due to the lack of predictive abilities. Dr. Waldo then traveled into many other sectors until he reached Cygnus Sector. Dr. Waldo's last known location was Albireo Star System on 3013/02/04.
Case Data Analysis and Conclusion:
As of 3013/07/10, there have been no sightings of Dr. Waldo. Meanwhile, the analysis of the data has linked up to an extraordinary discovery. Dr. Waldo's trips seemed analogous to a game called "Connect the Dots," with the star systems analogous to the dots in the game. A problem that was encountered when testing the hypothesis concerned the star systems' orientation but this was solved immediately when the meaning behind Dr. Waldo's appearance on Earth was quickly realized. Setting the orientation from Earth on pattern recognizing software rendered letters and numbers: U-C-H-I-C-A-G-O-1-3-1-7. Each trip in a sector represented a letter or a number. According to the rendering Dr. Waldo will present at UChicago, or the University of Chicago, on the time interval of 3013 to 3017. Further analysis of data provides evidence supporting the location and the time interval. Dr. Waldo's hiding period, before he made appearance on Earth, converted into months is 18.9 or 18.90 months and with the decimal point removed, then the new number is 1890, which is UChicago's establishment date. The date of reappearance 3011/10/01 is likewise related to 1892/10/01, which is date when the first classes were held at UChicago. Dr. Waldo's trips' time always had pattern of 4 days or weeks and the number 4 is also the difference between the years 3017 and 3013. Hence Dr. Waldo's visit to University of Chicago will happen on the time interval of 3013-3017 starting on 3013/10/01, when the classes resume. With these evidences, I hereby request to be sent off to University of Chicago from 3013 to 3017 starting on 3013/10/01 to find and apprehend Dr. Waldo.
Hey I actually got into UChicago Early Action this year, and if my experiences count for anything this works well. I wrote about a virus that made everyone identical to Waldo, and I was in charge of identifying the real one and hunting him down as a criminal. They definitely like odd ball stuff. I'd say you're good to go and hopefully will be my classmate next year.
a nice approach to this question, i like how you made waldo into someone possibly personal in your mind
Thanks everyone and I hope to see you next year too :)
any further help will be welcomed!
AWESOME. I love the last line. They just gotta take u, or they're nuts.
If I was you right now, I would delete this thread because there's no use in fixing your essays as it's awesome the way it is, and it would prevent a punk from potentially stealing your golden essay.
Some article corrections though
But before you delete the thread, I have some grammatical tuneups
a blue pants
into blue pants (omitting the a)
here I would put the a into A series
to new Sector took him 28 days
a trip to THE new Sector took him 28 days
he made appearance on Earth
Before he made AN appearance on Earth
This is just hilarious. Best Waldo essay I've read here.
I hear that Chicago LOVES quirky essays/people; you're a shoe-in.
Incredibly entertaining read, you should be proud of yourself!
Any last thought :) ???
Your paper is full of creativity, craziness, thoughtfulness and fun.
This is how i can describe you from this essay.Hope your other essays like your WHY CHICAGO and favorites reflect your other personality .
Can you tell me what you think about my Essay
just some constellation and list of star
Capitalize your title.
Case Date and Observation
Do you mean, Case Data?
Spacing wise, leave a space before each title. That way the essay is not so chunky.
a circular glass
Somebody already mentioned the pants, but glasses too always come in pairs.
Some issues with your dates: is it mm/dd or dd/mm? Because the first couple dates are very vague. This is just me being nit picky though.