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I walked out into the cold to clear my head; Accepting Failure/Common App


MF2010 2 / 5  
Dec 28, 2009   #1
Here is my Common App Essay. I would appreciate feedback greatly.

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After learning I had not made it to the final round, I walked out into the cold to clear my head. It was the second year I had failed to make finals in the National Forensics League District Tournament for Dramatic Interpretation. For the first time, I had been feeling at ease while performing. By stumbling over words in my last round, I had ensured my elimination. Furiously disappointed, I went for a walk around the school.

It was the last tournament of the year and I had travelled seven hours to rural Pennsylvania with my school's speech team to compete. Winning my first tournament earlier that season had increased my desire for victory. I sat down next to a small stream outside the school in my suit and tie. Criticizing myself for having memorized my monologue just a few days before the tournament, I picked up a small, muddy stone and cleared its surface. It had no striking features and was grey in colour. Its peculiar simplicity and apparent insignificance captivated me. There were billions of stones like it throughout the world. I realized that losing the tournament was one just the billions of disappointments that face all people. My reaction had been to sulk like a child, furious at myself. Staring at the pebble in my palm, I became content with my situation.

I discovered in that moment what it meant to accept failure. It meant having the humility to learn from it and move on. After having spent most of the seasons obsessed with winning another tournament, I had lost sight of the real goal: learning. The purpose of the speech competitions had been to give students public speaking experience, not to promote fierce competition. It had been humbling to have gotten as far as I did in that tournament. The natural modesty of that small stone I picked up reminded me that I was simply along for the ride. Life is too short to ignore the present completely in favour of a future goal. By failing, I realized my own arrogance and what embracing experiences meant. In retrospect, I had made it to semi-finals because I loved what I was doing, not because of a desire for first place.

While I have much to learn about life, I believe the lesson I learned that day is something I will be constantly reminded of throughout my life. Although I am a goal-oriented person, I now know that the steps taken toward that goal are often just as significant as the goal itself. In attempting to win that tournament, I learned to accept failure and embrace the opportunities of the present. The stone that reminded me of this remains in my suit pocket to this day. My double bass teacher and mentor once eloquently verbalized what it was I learned that day. He said to me "the climb ahead is difficult and tiring, so look around and enjoy the view while you can." Although he was referring to musicianship, the same applies to life.
emorris 2 / 20  
Dec 28, 2009   #2
*with my school's speech (team/squad/group)

It seems as though you just jump into your essay. I understand that you're trying to present a situation where you reflect on the past, but maybe giving some background information will help your audience paint a better picture in their head.

You could better elaborate on you achieving contentment by further extrapolating on the personal growth you received from humility.

This is a really good start though and I could totally relate to you, I'm a debate kid myself.
OP MF2010 2 / 5  
Dec 30, 2009   #3
Thanks for the advice, Erin!

I'd appreciate additional comments from everyone. Thanks!
jenn92 2 / 5  
Dec 30, 2009   #4
Hey there, I think your essay is very good. Even though you jump right into it, it is properly structured and in the end I learned a little more of the type of person you are and the way you look at goals. I would recommend emphasizing a little more on the part where you mention the rock for the first time--just so the reader understands the analogy better.Though overall it is great!

If you can, please check my columbia essay:


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