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'always wanted to be a doctor' -How did you learn about NJIT and why are you applying

tocollegeigo 1 / 2  
Sep 21, 2011   #1
How did you learn about NJIT and why are you applying for admission?

The learning of new information happens everyday. Teachers pass on their knowledge to their pupils. It is human nature to strive to collect new information and put it to use.

My determination in achieving my goals has led me to apply to the prestigious NJIT. Ever since I was a child, I have always wanted to be a doctor. I want to be able to help people with their troubles. NJIT is the perfect opportunity for me to do so. The state-of-the-art learning environment found at NJIT is the perfect place where I can have the most comprehensive learning experience possible. I have researched NJIT and found that is has close ties with medical schools that many other colleges do not have, schools such as St. Georges Medical School and UDMNJ. These schools are also highly regarded and it would be an honor to attend them. NJIT's teaching methods are some of the best in New Jersey. Doctors have to be able to make spilt second, life saving decisions.

I am a lifeguard who is used to making such decisions. A moment's hesitation may be the difference between saving someone or having them drown inches away from you. Lifeguarding and being the captain of a wrestling team have also given me leadership skills that would be useful as a doctor. I am also an active volunteer at Centrastate Medical Center and Center IMT.

My drive to succeed has allowed me to uncover the best schools for me to attend. By being admitted to NJIT, that would bring me another step closer to achieving my goal of graduating medical school and having the ability to help people. My determination along with my drive to succeed would be an asset to the NJIT community.
chigirl 3 / 3  
Sep 22, 2011   #2
maybe u should avoid using abbreviations for other schools like ''UDMNJ'' ? I can pretend i don't know what that is . ALSO u can try to connect youur paragraph's more lyk ''i'm used to making quick decisions because i am a trained life guard.''....in all it looks good good luck

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