'wanting to do more with my art talent' - SVA Statement Intent

Prompt:
In 500 words or less, discuss your reasons for pursuing undergraduate study in the visual arts. Feel free to include any information about yourself, your goals and interests that may not be immediately apparent from the review of your transcripts or portfolio.

In 2008, I graduated from High School of Fashion Industries, wanting to do more with my art talent. I attended Borough of Manhattan Community College with an interest for more. I took three courses such as Life Drawing I and II and Painting I. Figure drawing was so new to me and fun because I got to try something more mature. I love how a person can feel so comfortable in their own skin. Standing in front of 25 students, model from different shape and sizes got my attention. I took it upon myself to continue figure drawing outside of school and explore people shapes. I enjoyed choosing a model I wanted to draw. Soon after, I was in a painting course. I got to explore techniques of my own choice, such as texture and brush strokes. Through the years I focused more on observation and objects I can use to bring out my paintings.

Art is the passion of my life, it is my journal. I can easily express myself through my work and not be judged. I express my emotion through color, objects and scenery. A piece can mean a lot of things because a piece was meant to be the answer to my questions. When I look at my work I want to feel connected. I've been inspired by Bob Ross because of his beautiful landscapes and George Rouault because of his choice to use German Expressions. George Rouault took his own direction and stood with it showing his emotion to religion. Art is about expressing me and other people. When I sell a piece I always interview the person because it helps me visualize a piece that fits that individaul person. I sell my pieces to friends and family trying to be known.

My goal is to open up an art gallery where I can create different themes and auction off some pieces. A child who has the same desire to be an artist can have a chance to be known by hanging up their pieces in my gallery. Back in elementary I was chose to hang a landscape of mine in Russell Simmons office, which pushed me to work harder. When I auction my pieces I would be able to create funds for children who want to continue on through college and study art. School of Visual Arts can teach me how to better my work and exploring the inner talent I do not know I have. I still need to learn more on being creative with my ideas and visualizing stuff to put in a 3D format. SVA can teach me the best quality in sculpturing and painting.

I have some comments/suggestions/corrections:

... visualize a piece that fits that individaul person. - a piece that fits an individual person.

...teach me how to better my work and exploring the inner talent I do not know I have. - how to improve my work and explore my hidden inner talents.

I still need to learn more on being creative with my ideas and visualizing stuff to put in a 3D format. SVA can teach me the best quality in sculpturing and painting. - I suggest typing out the full name of the institution. Since you want to mention about what the school has to offer, I think you can be more specific with this answer. How exactly will the school help? It has a special program that can help you in 3D formatting?

Also, do you remember an time in your life when you began drawing/painting? You could describe that in the beginning maybe :)

Overall, it is a good piece. Nice work! All the best :)