'War, crime and society' - RYERSON UNDERGRADUATE JOURNALISM ESSAY

I am not done yet this is just the basis of my essay please help, just want to know if im going on the right track.

War and crime has always been significant to our society. We are captivated by the devastating acts that one portrays, but there are always hidden truths that do not seem to be knowledge to the public. As so much is happening around the world we only see headlines and nothing much further. As technology advances our journalism needs to as well in order to educate the public.

The article that had given me insight to the how the civilians were treated during the Iraq war was an article called "A Grim Portrait of Civilians Deaths in Iraq" published by The New York Times. The Iraq war was featured all over North America. The focus being the civilians distraught and captured in the middle of all the chaos, trying to cope with the enormous loss of their country. The shock of this captivated me not only visually but also hearing about the atrocities that occur every day to innocents, thus creating the journalism activity more broad to my appeal.

This piece educated and inspired me empathetically, not knowing about what others go through in their daily lives. This article had given me inspiration to study journalism and to have people's voices be heard in order to help them. The desire that I have to show in my work for people, to have the end result of the story being grossly devastating or interesting to make the viewer leave having a different mindset.

Since my full attention to the Iraq war I have been continuously writing about world issues that I believe are important to not only me but others. This broadcast had changed my entire motive for not only my future but created a whole new passion of writing.

- butand there areis always hidden
- truths that does not seem
- to be knowledgeknown to the public.
- As technology advances, our journalism needs to as well, in order to educate the public.

- The article that had given me insight to the how the civilians were
-The shock of this headline captivated me
- occur every day life to those who are innocents ,

- I believe are important to not only to me but to others as well .
- ThisB roadcasting had changed my entire motive,
- for not only my future butand created a whole new passion offor writing.

Hyrra, the above corrections are made in order to help you out with your essay, what I notice is the lack of punctuation marks as well

as the word or verb forms that are associated to your essay.

I hope this helped.