Essay #1: Given what you know about Boston University, what do you hope to accomplish as an undergraduate here? Please respond in an essay of no more than 500 words.
In August of 2009 I visited three cities all with prospective universities; Washington, New York, and Boston. Boston University was the last place I visited, but after spending a few hours on "campus" I knew this was the university I could most see myself attending. The next four years at Boston University some things I hope to accomplish include: studying abroad in a country I have never visited such as New Zealand, continuing my volunteer work, obtaining degrees in neuroscience and psychology, and doing research within the Alzheimer's Disease Center.
Attending a high school that is culturally diverse made it a goal for me to seek for a similar university. Boston University's study abroad program would be the perfect opportunity for me to learn about another culture first hand without interrupting my education. Majoring in psychology, I believe it would be important for me to be able to experience other cultures and their people compared to our western world. Apart from off campus experiences I plan on taking part of the various clubs offered at BU; photography club and culinary club are two which have caught my eye.
Looking through the view book one night I read that BU's undergraduate students completed over 75,000 hours of community service. I was amazed because community service has always been an important part of my life, and BU would allow me to continue volunteering with my peers. In addition to volunteering, I hope to take part in the many research opportunities available at Boston University. Upon hearing about the strong neuroscience program offered at BU I became very interested in applying. When I clicked on neuroscience rectangle under the research tab, my eyes immediately focused on the "Alzheimer's Disease Center" and I clicked. As I read around I knew that if presented the opportunity to attend BU I would undoubtedly take part in this research opportunity. For over a year I have been volunteering with people who suffer from Alzheimer's disease and being able to do research in this field would be nothing short of a dream come true.
My education the next four years involves attaining two degrees in neuroscience and psychology. Boston University's Dual Degree program is ideal for me as it allows me to study both areas equally instead of having to choose to major in one and minor in the other. I want to advance my knowledge in these two areas while also becoming more worldly knowledgeable. Boston University is the perfect place for both because it is located in the heart of a thriving city, and not tucked away from the real world.
Going to a university in the city of Boston would provide me with opportunities outside education. Living in the city I hope to go to performances by the Boston Symphony Orchestra, visit some historical sites, relax on BU beach, and even try the different places to eat. Overall, I hope attending BU will prepare me not only for a career, but also in living in the real world as an adult.
Short Essay: In five or six sentences, tell us how you first became interested in BU and what steps you have taken to learn more about us.
I visited in August 2009 and though the temperature crept up into the high nineties my tour guide, a BU student, showed me through his dedication how great of a place Boston University truly was. Over the past year and half I have attended information sessions when Boston University representatives have visited my school, read many sections of the website and have discovered BU to be a great match for me. A few things that immediately drew me to BU were its low student-to-faculty ratio, the Dual Degree program, the research opportunities, and of course its location. The one reason I really want to attend BU is its strong neuroscience program and all the research centers, mainly the Alzheimer's Disease Center. Finally, I believe it is important for colleges to be located in cities because this allows for more real world opportunities. There are endless possibilities at Boston University, and I hope I will be able to take advantage of them next year.
"Over the past year and a half"
"...to learn about another culture firsthand without interrupting my education"
"I visited in August 2009 and though the temperature crept up into the high nineties my tour guide, a BU student, showed me through his dedication how great of a place Boston University truly was."
^^^ I would change that to something more descriptive like "The sun beat down on my forehead as I toured the campus, yet nothing could stop me from falling in love with Boston University."
Overall, solid.
Why did you put campus in " " marks?
...studying abroad in a country I have never visited such as New Zealand, continuing my volunteer work, obtaining degrees in neuroscience and psychology, and doing research within the Alzheimer's Disease Center. ---all these are very general. There needs to be something in your essay that takes the reader very deep in thought about a particular topic. That is what essays are all about.
Take "Self-Reliance," for example. Emerson's essay is significant because of the insight he gives about that single topic.
In your essay, you give a lot of information, but you do not artfully explore a topic. When you write, try to use a concept/theme that unites all the ideas. That is the difference between an essay and a list of ideas.
Do you know what I mean? For example, trying new places to eat should not be included, nor should 'relax at the beach,' and you should not include the fact that it is in a city, either, because it is not the only college in a city. You should show how YOUR plan and the unique resources at this school are perfect for each other. This requires you to express a lot of specific ideas that have developed as part of your plan. I don't even really know, after reading this, why you chose the 2 majors you chose.
:-)
