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Watching ballet concerts, Extracurricular activity - University of Illinois


Mariyam_Shine 2 / 4  
Jan 3, 2011   #1
In an essay of 300 words or less, choose one extracurricular activity, work experience or community service project from the list you provided on the application and explain why you initially chose it, why you continued with it, and how you benefited from it.

Thank you very much. I'll be grateful to you if you will help to me to make my essay better.

Everyone loves watching ballet concerts. Everyone takes pleasure from watching beautiful, slim girls dancing in the amazing concert halls. However, not everyone knows what kind of hard work is hiding beyond these elegant figures. I have been dancing for ten years. The first my entrance to choreographic club was made by my mother's effort. She was afraid of the possibility that I will not grow, because for that moment I was very little and tenuous girl not satisfying to my age. I will never forget the day when I saw a young lady, leading dancer of this club, preparing for the future concert. It was the most gracious national dance I have seen before. Every night I thank God for giving me such opportunity to demonstrate my abilities from other side and asked him to help me to be the best dancer. Choreographic club seemed me unusual and indescribably beautiful. The right place where your precious dreams come true. Rhythm of music which was painted with the fingers of our pianist carried me away to other splendid surroundings. Every step, every plié, every shane worked wonders to me. Dance lessons have become my favorite hobby, wish to be there forced me to prepare my dance shoes one day before since without shoes one cannot dance. Firstly, it was very difficult to me to get accustomed in that sphere. I came to home very tired with painful corns on my legs. Nevertheless, I had promised myself that in one day I will dance like that gracious lady whom I admired most. In my opinion, only this hope challenged me to work harder.

Dancers give years of diligent work to one performance, for only five minutes of opportunity to show all of your labor to the audience. I can definitely say that dance taught me for patient, for willpower and for qualities of winner. Who knew? That shy and physically weak girl can turn into ambitious, spiritually strong young lady with number of flamboyant dances and nominations behind herself.
anuarbek95 7 / 17  
Jan 3, 2011   #2
I think this essay is good. I liked how you described your feelings when you started and why you continued. The point is I think, you should write a little bit more how it influenced on you and why you continued dancing.

Good luck


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