prompt: Florida State University is more than just a world-class academic institution preparing you for a future career. We are a caring community of well-rounded individuals who embrace leadership, learning, service, and global awareness. With this in mind, which of these characteristics appeal most to you, and why?
There is nothing else quite like it. Popping off the boat's two-foot wake, sending my body 5 feet into the air. With a smooth landing, I successfully completed a wake-to-wake jump. Learning is the characteristic that appeals to me most. Learning new tricks in one of my favorite sports, wakeboarding, new subjects in school, and learning about the living situations of those less fortunate, helped me understand the success of hard work, and gratitude from those I have serviced.
A strong foundation in water-skiing contributed to my immediate success getting up on a wakeboard. However, staying up is a completely different thing. Learning to maintain balance on the ever-changing water surface took dozens of painful falls, headaches, and jellyfish stings. Remaining vigilant through my first season, I learned to move in and out of the wake comfortably. After wrapping up my third season, my skills have greatly increased, and the sport has become my favorite summer past time. Learning to wakeboard has been incredibly rewarding because I get to share the experience with my family and friends every time we go on the water.
This year I am taking Accounting as an elective. My initial expectations were like other classes, memorizing vocabulary and methods of solving problems. However, Accounting is much more than this. Memorized material from previous years in math and English have contributed to learning the basics in this new discipline. I'm starting to picture myself in a career as a certified public accountant. After researching Florida State's exemplary business and accounting programs, a degree from this world-class institute will offer me a plethora of job opportunities in the business world, and the greatest possibility for a successful career.
One Saturday my sophomore year, a friend asked if I wanted to volunteer at a homeless shelter in our community. I had no idea we had a shelter or even homeless people living in our county. The next morning we drove to the shelter. Unsure of what to expect, I got out of the car and was greeted by a resident at the door. I was handed four cartons of eggs to crack. We made a delicious brunch, an began serving. I thought we made way too much food when I looked down at our serving station, but as the families and individuals kept lining up, I was wrong. Learning about the living situations of these people inspired me to stick with the service. For the past years, I have gone back once a month.
Learning to wakeboard has not only given me self-satisfaction, but has aloud me to share the experience with my friends and family. Accounting is currently giving my previous years in math and English purpose, as I am able to piece together various aspects and learn accounting. Volunteering at the homeless shelter opened my eyes to how some people in my community live. This inspired me to continue to service them, and I am humbled by how grateful they are.
I can see what you're getting at and I think this is a really good start, but you should probably work on your transitions. When you change to a different thing you learned it feels a little abrupt. But the paragraph about wakeboarding is good- it shows that you experienced failures and learned from it, and I think that you could even make your essay just about that, because the way you wrote that part kind of makes it sound like there's a metaphor or life lesson in there.
