My goals and interest and my reason for choosing Waterloo
It is widely known that co-op is one of the main factors that make the University of Waterloo consistently reach the top of the list as the best engineering university. Companies big and small know of Waterloo Engineering's ability to breed creative thinking and entrepreneurship within every student. Not only do you give students a chance at the world's most innovative businesses, ones that I hope to work for myself, but you lead them to success in their positions. This is a part of Waterloo that I know is essential for my growth in the future. Also, communities such as EngSoc encourages development professionally and helps newcomers transition into the life of Waterloo. The helpfulness of student societies such as this create a welcoming environment and would give me a head start, taking away some stress of a new environment and allowing me to focus on being the best version of myself.
I realize the limits imposed in the form of the character limit, but it seems your entire essay focuses around "Why Waterloo" and not the initial "Your goals and Interests".
It may be tough at this point, but try to add at least a sentence or two initially, that tackle this prompt.
[Contributor] - / 7,485 1927
Winston, there is nothing impressive about the reasons you chose to apply to Waterloo. The explanation you gave can apply to any university in the United States. Your explanation does not merit any consideration because you do not show a clear familiarity with the program you have chosen to enroll in and why. You are not clearly explaining any reasons that would convince the reviewer that you know what you are getting into by applying to the university. There is no academic consideration, no academic goals that Waterloo can fulfill, and no professional ambition to prove that claim you made about Waterloo helping you to be employed by big name companies. Therefore, this essay is not one that you can use for this application. Try to write a new essay. One that uses specifics and highlights your familiarity with the outcome of your course choice, should you be admitted to and complete your studies at the university.
Thank you so much for the help, and I have taken it into my answer to the question. I have added my goals and ambitions within the start of the paragraph, and decided to take out the community description. However, I know for a fact that their co-op program is the reason why I chose Waterloo and why it is my top choice. Could you please help expand on how I can express my familiarity with the program. Would that mean what the courses entail or does it mean something else?
My goal for my university life is to be pushed towards my limit, and use my electrical engineering basis that the University of Waterloo will give me and apply it to create a cleaner future. A huge problem within society recently is humanity's impact on the environment, and engineers are at the front lines in the attempt to solve this problem. It is widely known that co-op is one of the main factors that make Waterloo Engineering consistently reach the top of the list. Companies big and small know of your ability to breed creative thinking and entrepreneurship within every student. Not only do you give students a chance at the world's most innovative businesses, ones that I hope to work for myself, but you lead them to success in their positions. This is a part of Waterloo that I know is essential for my growth in the future.