It had been a long nine months but my baby had finally arrived; she reeked of fresh ink and hard work, her chatoyant cover free of fingerprints. There's nothing like holding that freshly printed yearbook in your arms. As a child I would never have dreamed of becoming Yearbook Editor in Chief, I was too busy drawing anime characters and reading the Goosebumps series. Growing up soft-spoken and anxious I surprised everyone, above all myself, when I took on the challenge. My mother had always told me to live up to my potential, and I knew that hiding from the world was holding me back. If a dilemma were to commence, I've learned to face it, turn the page, and live on.
In grade school I was labeled the "weird quiet girl", I kept to myself, only to raise my hand to go to the restroom. I would rather avoid a situation entirely than have to deal with the feeling of not knowing what to say, or bear that terrible awkwardness. It even got to the point where I was self conscious about how I ate my food: Were my bites too big? What if somebody noticed that loud slurp I made with my soup? As a shy kid, I faded into the background, where I stayed comfortable and unnoticed.
Ironically, I believe that my shyness, something that I consider a communication barrier, has led me to focus on a field for my major: psychology. Despite my dislike to it earlier on in my life, I've learned to love interacting with people, as a friend, tutor, or editor. I have found that I have a passion for conversation and even when I'm not the main focus, I'd be just as enthusiastic to listen. I suppose that's the advantage of being reserved, I get the opportunity to soak up what someone is saying, conceive their thoughts, and even put myself in their shoes without judgment.
When I entered high school I realized that as an adult, shyness and uncertainty were going to become major barriers from my multitudinous dreams and aspirations. I began my sophomore year with one of the biggest challenges I've ever faced, AP World History. The essays were difficult and tedious, as well as the class, but I pushed myself to study and listen during the teachers unbearable lectures. Though the presentations were a struggle, full of quivering voices and sweaty foreheads, I survived. Taking higher-level classes has challenged me inevitably. I've learned to voice my opinion, because not a soul is going to judge me as harshly as my own.
Still need to write the ending paragraph...what are your opinions so far?
It had been a long nine months but my baby had finally arrived; she reeked of fresh ink and hard work, her chatoyant cover free of fingerprints. There's nothing like holding that freshly printed yearbook in your arms. -I like how this intro is attention-grabbing, but it's a little unclear. Try to clarify why she is your "baby". Also avoid using the word "chatoyant"-makes you sound like you're trying too hard.
...You are a good writer! Congrats on that. But your writing sometimes loses focus. Try to keep it all tied to a central theme.
Thank you so much for your pointers, I will definitely keep them in mind while I'm correcting this draft.
Ironically, I believe that my shyness, something that I consider a communication barrier, has led me to focus on a field for my major: psychology. Despite my dislike to it earlier on in my life, I've learned to love interacting with people, as a friend, tutor, or editor. I have found that I have a passion for conversation and even when I'm not the main focus, I'd be just as enthusiastic to listen. I suppose that's the advantage of beingreserved, I get the opportunity to soak up what someone is saying, conceive their thoughts, and even put myself in their shoes without judgment. I feel that reserved isnt the right word to use here. Any Ideas on what I could replace it with?
