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"A well informed family" - MSU personal statement


jyxff 2 / 6  
Aug 17, 2009   #1
Describe the environment you come from - for example, your family, community, or school - and how this environment has affected or influenced your plans for the future.

this is only the first draft, I'm not sure about the topic or the writting, any suggestions?

I was born into a well informed family which has a strict viewpoint on educating the junior generation.
As a child, I envied neighbors' kids because they had the chance to follow the long-established Chinese tradition; they would receive money from the seniors during the Lunar New Years. I was the only one who could only have books year after year. It was difficult to see all my friends with looks of extreme excitement from the money they got. But I was expected to read and collect something from the books and I built my habit of reading at a very young age.

I received my first book from my father. It was a colorfully illustrated story book. I read about the tale of Mermaid and the Snow White, sensing a significantly wonderful world surrounding me. Those happy endings in the stories encouraged me remarkably to be passionate and optimism toward whatever in front of me at a very young age. Although I tend to consider more and more for any decision as I grow up, the passion to life and challenges had never declined.

As I grew older, I began to appreciate the unique traditions of my family. My Parents did not push me to have good grades in school, but rather to read as much as I can.

My obsession to the literary world began when I was in forth grade. I was reading all the time, whether during school hours or in the leisure time. As a child who recently had the skill of reading and understanding letters and words, I was exhilarating to anything with printed sentences on and eager to read whatever I could found. During what I call the reading years, I read about history, literature, science, architecture, and even psychology and geography. My classmates and teachers were impressed by my widely gained background knowledge for lots of subjects and recommended me for the knowledge context in school. This time, my reading habit provided me with the championship.

Reading supported me during my arduous journey in growing up to become who I determined to be. When the infatuation faded gradually, I started to concentrate on the authors who I could truly find connection with. For instance, I was fascinated by the philosophies of Lin Yutang's and have finished reading most of his books. Searching in the "The importance of living", I appreciated not only what the author inferred about having a tranquil life, but also developed my own understanding about living and striving.

During the past 18 years, I have received numerous books from family members. The book is always packed with a brief note which tells me about what the sender feels about the book and why he or she recommends this.

Last year, I sent a book to my nephew for the first time. A wonderful thrill came to me while I was passing the book to my little nephew; I felt that I was not only passing dozens of printed paper to the child, but the spirit of longing for knowledge, the courage of facing reality, the attitude of having a peaceful life, which are, all my distinctive family traditions.

Liebe 1 / 542 2  
Aug 17, 2009   #2
As a little child, I envied neighbor's kids a lot simply because they havehad the chance to follow the long-established Chinese tradition;and receive money from seniors during the Chinese lunar New Yearthey would receive money from seniors during the Chinese lunar New Year. I was the only one who receive books year overafter year.

^***Before, you said your family is traditional. Here you are saying that they do not do the traditional thing of giving you money...

It was difficult for me to see all my friends wereextremely excitingwith looks of extreme excitementwithfrom the money they got. But I was expected to read and collect something from the books. With the in born sense of responsibility warned me not to disappoint my family,and I built my habit of reading at a very young age.

As I groe w older, I become to appreciate more and more the unique tradition of our familybegan to appreciate the unique traditions of my family . My Parents do not push me to have a good grade in school but they do request me to read as much as I candid not push me to have good grades in school, but rather to read as much as I can.It's not a paradox, which I only realized a few years ago.

We attend school primarily to take up what the nation and society request and basically for a secular goal of getting a good job.
^No. People do not attend school in hopes of only getting 'good jobs'.

But reading is for an entirely different reason that to construct the opinion of world. We read not only to receive the knowledge or have a promising future, but for the fundamental motive-to know the right and wrong. Chinese philosopher used to say "A grasp of mundane affairs is genuine knowledge

^Are you trying to reason why people read?

Understanding of worldly wisdom is true learning." The words were appropriate in the past, are suitable in present, and will be connected in the future. the "worldly wisdom" is not what we considered as flattery, instead, it refers to someone who has great skills in dealing with others, who consider themselves in a lower position in any occasions, pay respect to other's opinion and comprehend other's points precisely, in order to response in the most felicitous way. For most of modern people who are not aiming for Nobel Prize, reading is of great importance in the aspect of gaining knowledge, but the more significant and particle reason is to be aware the right and wrong

^None of this is relevant to yourself, yet alone the essay prompt/

During the past 18 years, I have received numerous books from family members. The book is always packed with a brief note which tells me about what the sender feels about the book and why he recommends this.

^Excuse my ignorance, but do only male relatives give gifts?

Last year, I send my booksent a book to my nephew for the first time. A wonderful thrill came to me while I was passing the book to my little nephew; I felt that I was not only passing a dozens of printed paper to the child, but the spirit of longing for knowledge, the courage of facing reality, the attitude of having a peaceful life, which are, family traditions.

^Longing for knowledge...is not necessarily the attitude of having a peaceful life. Also, these are your family traditions, not family traditions in general.
EF_Sean 6 / 3,491  
Aug 17, 2009   #3
The approach is promising, but your use of language forms a barrier to the reader fully understanding your point.

We attend school primarily to take up what the nation and society request and basically for a secular goal of getting a good job.

Do we read, in contrast, for religious reasons? That is what your use of the word "secular" here implies. And what's wrong with getting a good job? And what makes you think that this is the main reason for going to school?

But reading is for an entirely different reason that to construct the opinion of world. We read not only to receive the knowledge or have a promising future, but for the fundamental motive-to know the right and wrong.

How exactly does reading help us to construct an opinion of the world? Why not base your opinion on your personal experiences instead? How does reading help us learn morality? I can sense the sort of ideas you want to go with here, and I think they'd be very interesting, but you need to unpack them more.

For most of modern people who are not aiming for Nobel Prize, reading is of great importance in the aspect of gaining knowledge, but the more significant and particle reason is to be aware the right and wrong.

Is reading not useful for those aiming for a Nobel Prize? Do such people not need to know right from wrong? And what's wrong with aiming for a Nobel Prize, anyway?

And so on.
EF_Simone 2 / 1,986  
Aug 18, 2009   #4
A wonderful thrill came to me while I was passing the book to my little nephew; I felt that I was not only passing a dozen of printed paper to the child, but the spirit of longing for knowledge, the courage of facing reality, the attitude of having a peaceful life, which are, family traditions.

This is the heart of your message, and it is very strong. You went from envying the traditions of other families to whole-heartedly participating in this tradition of your own family. Attend carefully to Liebe and Sean's comments and corrections so that this message is not lost amid errors and awkward constructions.
OP jyxff 2 / 6  
Aug 18, 2009   #5
Thank you so much. I 'll try my best to revise it
EF_Simone 2 / 1,986  
Aug 20, 2009   #6
I was the only one who would only recieve books year after year.

Those happy endings in the stories encouraged me remarkably to be passionate and optimistictoward whatever in front of me at a very young age .
OP jyxff 2 / 6  
Aug 20, 2009   #7
Any suggestion to the topic ? Is this one ok? Thank you so much
EF_Simone 2 / 1,986  
Aug 20, 2009   #8
Any suggestion to the topic ? Is this one ok?

Yes, I like the topic very much.
schubzcrazee 1 / 3  
Aug 21, 2009   #9
I think this is a fantastic essay! I also think the revisions are approipriate and good luck to you in the future where ever it leads=]


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