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West Union Building: A metaphor for my life (WHY DUKE ?)

kartikt 6 / 13  
Sep 23, 2018   #1
Here is the exact prompt-

If you are applying to the Trinity College of Arts and Sciences as a first year applicant, please discuss why you consider Duke a good match for you. Is there something particular about Duke that attracts you?

As an amalgamation of chill comic-book talks and intense theological debates, I consider West Union Building to be an apt metaphor for my life- a hub of diversity, a bridge between heritage and progression.

In Trinity, I'd be found enjoying Prof Chandrasekharan's lectures on Fermion-Bag approach, taking the notoriously challenging PHYSICS655, involving myself in the Super-K project and, of course, spamming Instagram with #DevilDays during Duke2023 student takeovers. Like the magnificent sunsets at Marine Lab, my days at Duke would definitely leave me wanting for more.

I believe if I can impact even a single person's life positively, I must do it. In applying for DukeEngage, I see opportunities to transform hundreds of lives. I even hope to leave my mark on the student body by establishing 'Duke Astronomy Society'.

I choose Trinity because when the Wallace Wade Stadium chants 'Go Go Duke', my heart starts pumping the Devil Blue.

Holt - / 7,529 2001  
Sep 24, 2018   #2
Kartik, it would do your essays well if you stop with the imagery and simply respond to the prompts in a direct manner. Your creative writing method of responding often misleads your responses. In this case, your response was very enjoyable to read, but not really responsive of the question. Even if the reviewer enjoys your writing, the lack of substance in your response that would inform him about the reasons why you are attracted to Duke creates an interesting but unresponsive essay statement.

You told the reviewer what attracts you to Duke but not why these attractions result in a perfect fit between you and the university. How does the Fermion -Bag approach represent something of an enigma to you, hence the attraction? What do you hope to solve as a Physics 655 student that makes you believe this class suits your learning demands? You get the picture. There needs to be a match representation for every attraction that you present in order to convince the reviewer that you are indeed a "fit" for Duke.

The last sentence in your presentation is a throw away and I suggest you do exactly that with it. It is a tired response that all the applicants close their essays with year in and year out. Stand out by closing with something different, like the Duke Astronomy Society. You already indicated that you will participate in the #DevilDays anyway in the earlier part of your response. There is no sense in repeating that information in the essay. Saying it once is sufficient.

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