Please corret for grammatical mistakes and suggest how I can improve the content....this is for WHEATON COLLEGE, MA..
1. How did you first become interested in Wheaton? (e.g., Wheaton was recommended by a teacher, graduate, friend, etc.)
During my week-long research on US colleges and universities at United States Education Foundation-Kathmandu, I found Wheaton. Then, I took my time to know about Wheaton and its people on the internet. Going through facts, statistics and reviews, I made my decision to apply to Wheaton.
2. Please tell us why you are interested in Wheaton?
Until my tenth grade, I went to one of the most prestigious schools in Nepal that focused primarily upon discipline along with knowledge, which I have found to be the most important factor to have shaped me. The way Wheaton values the same gets me interested towards it. I was really thrilled to know that Wheaton promised in developing well-rounded students stimulating the intellectual, spiritual, moral and social development of each student.
Since I am a student of science and still have a belief in God, I could not find it less interesting while I listened to the science students in Wheaton telling how Science and Christianity went together. Whatever we do with our lives, I feel that it is important to take some time to think about God and that brings me to Wheaton.
The caring community that international students far away from home desire of, people from diverse background and diverse belief, talks about faith, promises to community service are all what got me interested to Wheaton College.
1. How did you first become interested in Wheaton? (e.g., Wheaton was recommended by a teacher, graduate, friend, etc.)
During my week-long research on US colleges and universities at United States Education Foundation-Kathmandu, I found Wheaton. Then, I took my time to know about Wheaton and its people (you mean their students? I dont get you in here) on the internet. Going through facts, statistics and reviews, I made my decision to apply to Wheaton.
2. Please tell us why you are interested in Wheaton?
Until my tenth grade (it should be "in your tenth grade"?) , I went to one of the most prestigious schools in Nepal that focused primarily upon discipline along with knowledge, which I have found to be the most important factor to shape me. The way Wheaton values the same (same as what?) gets me interested towards it.
people on the internet.
,who informed....or any other words!!!
will u please help me out!! i am almost tired!!
I think this is great, you show passion towards the college which shows that you are a bright student that is willing to learn. You even mentioned a personal text about your previous schooling which is very important.
Your essay is great, but I would concretize the following point a bit:
"Going through facts, statistics and reviews"
e.g. mention some number/facts/opinions that amazed you and influenced on your choice.
Good luck!
