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'wide spectrum' A U of T - What has inspired you to pursue an engineering degree?

plmokn123 1 / 2  
Dec 28, 2013   #1
What has inspired you to pursue an engineering degree and why would you like to study at the University of Toronto?
What skills have you developed through your extra-curricular experiences that will support your future success as both a student and an engineer? (3000 Characters)

I am inspired to pursue a prestigious engineering degree at U of T, because I am always intrigued by a wide spectrum of applications of science and math, such as the modern phenomenon of the Internet where it has made tremendous impact to our society. Inside the labs, the wildest imagination in the Sci-Fi movies spark innovations everyday, and right here at U of T, I embrace its rich multicultural diversity among the students, that is how can it accomplish amazing things from awesome people with very different backgrounds. Moreover, I also love fun especially after I watched the video, "The Worst Exam", I laughed so hard at nerds who kept writing the exam even though it was a prank. The opportunities to get involve here is unprecedented like the engineering band where I can play my saxophone, and the exciting blue sky solar racing team which run in the sunshine around the globe.

On the other hand, I worked as a lifeguard and a certified swim instructor at the Toronto Police Service for the past two summers, first at a program calls the Youth In Policing Initiative (YIPI), in that program I helped organized baseball game for the Blue Jay Rookie League Academy, and wrote journals daily to reflect my experiences which were posted on the YIPI Newsletter by the end of my summer. I worked as lifeguard last summer where I held a huge responsibility of people's lives at my stalks. I have developed essential teamwork, leadership and effective communication skills through this employment experiences that will be transferable to any PEY positions I could be placed in the future. Plus the First Aid/CPR skill I practiced proficiently is necessary in any workplace. The journals I wrote will be useful in the future because engineers do get to write a lot of reports.

Furthermore, I learned a lot of cool things from professional engineers, peers and teacher, that would not be done without competing at FIRST and VEX Robotics competitions; particularly after I applied my programming skills in the sophisticated software to our design, this enable our robot to execute my commands to win the games. robotics exposure in high school is as close it can get in preparation for engineering education later in my life as a practicing engineer.

NOTE: Is the 3 paragraphs ok for this? Do you need a thesis for this essay or you just answering the question?
Thank you!! Any feedbacks? I know I am not good at grammar and flow.
hanlus 2 / 3 1  
Dec 28, 2013   #2
heyo, i'm writing the same application as you! ok, so here's what i think:

your three paragraph format is fine, and i like how you talk about different aspects of your life. however, your ideas seem very scattered. you're jumping all over the place. try to focus on one idea and answer the question: "why do you want to attend UT?" is it because you think their program will help you succeed? how so? why is UT more suited for you than any of the other schools? i feel as though you talk a lot about what you did/like but not how it relates back to engineering

also, i think that the way you're speaking in this essay response is a bit too lax. try to make it slightly more formal - don't use words like cool or phrases like "laughing my head off" because it doesn't seem like you're serious about the spot you're applying for. they don't want a student that takes school as a joke, they want students that are serious about their futures.

hope i helped a bit :--)
OP plmokn123 1 / 2  
Dec 28, 2013   #3
Hi, I saw your comment on my essay!
need to be specific on what things you fix like computer, radio, robot, gadget..
"My interests in physics naturally gravitated me towards track one", physics does not naturally make Track One the best choice, physics is needed for engineering definitely, i don't think you need that since Track One learn the same things first year as ECE.

maybe add why you want to study at u of t in general like environments, academics, opportunities...
maybe elaborate on the Design Team, where engineers use auto cad software everyday.
hope it helps
By the way, what other information on the SPF, they ask you to fill for u of t engineering? I didn't received mine yet, because I applied during the holiday.
hanlus 2 / 3 1  
Dec 28, 2013   #4
heh, thanks for the comments! i'll be sure to fix things up for my essay.

mmm for the spf you need to fill out extra-curriculars, academic history, a "timeline" and other things but those are really just caretaking, getting to know your background and factual stuff. the only thing you need to really need to worry about is the essay question :--)

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