I'm wild, weird and whimsical; Stanford Roommate Essay

Write a letter to your future roommate that will help them and us know you better. (250 word limit)

Dear future roommate,
I'm wild, weird and whimsical. With important matters at hand, I am extremely focused. I'll wake up at 4 on Wednesday morning to reread the Physics chapter. I'll sit at my computer with Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata on repeat preparing for the math test. I won't think about Game 6 of the World Series; I'll be focused.

On my leisure time, however, I won't shut up. I'll talk to you about the Minnesota Vikings, the Bugatti Veyron 16.4 and the cell phone app I'm working on. I hope you like food because if I eat every last wing I order, I'm not going to be around for long. I'm a jokester. Consider this your warning for any pranks in the future. I should mention that when no one's around I reenact the insane fight sequence from Fast & Furious 6, and usually break something. Get your valuables insured.

You'll often see me stay up all night watching YouTube videos on quantum computation or big data analysis. I'm very curious and ambitious. No doubt, at some point I will bore you to death about my business proposition to "revolutionize" the world. I'll explain my idea for the coolest Google Glass application ever or even propose starting a company that will surely be "the next Google."

I want you to know that I am a great friend. I'm honest, open and flexible in my ways. I give and graciously receive great advice. I can't wait to meet you.

Best,
Sai

You make yourself sound like an interesting nerd! Try to lay off the prank level a bit because it seems like you're annoying. And don't tell, show. For example, the part where you say "I'm honest, open and flexible" try to describe that indirectly instead of stating it explicitly. Besides that, you sound like a cool person.

While Stanford is an inherently rigorous school in recent years there has been a great effort to reduce student stress and compulsive habits. When you discuss your ability to focus at the beginning you may want to present this in a lighter format. Waking up before dawn to reread your physics book may cause admissions officers to write you off as a little little too focused.

As a general rule you should avoid any diction that comes off as harsh. "I won't shut up" doesn't portray you in the best light.

I also think you should make sure your essay fall in line with your first sentence. Explain how you are wild, then weird, then whimsical. You might want to even restructure you essay to follow that order.

Finally, I think you should find a way to end your essay with more of a bang. Find a strong message that you want to convey to your roommate (the admissions officer) and stick with it.

A good essay topic but you could do more to develop it in such a way that it shows off the different sides of your personality. Good luck!