Hello everyone! Thank you for visiting this thread. I plead that you check my essay. This essay is due as stated, Thursday, October 27, 2011. I, myself, think that I am horrible at writing but bare with me! P.S. Please leave any comments needed, whether it is criticizing or thoughtful! I need an A+ on this paper to get an A- in this class. THANKS!
This is my essay that I wrote:
Wisdom is knowing how to use knowledge one has previously gained. In John Steinbeck's novella, The Pearl, Kino, both a greedy yet, desirous fisherman, is determined to sell a pearl that serves as a bad luck charm. Upon his experiences, Kino believes that the money he earns may become a burden and thus decides to pick his family over the lucrative pearl he almost gives his soul to.
The pearl coveys a large burden that causes trouble towards the impoverished family. As Kino "killed a man," the family "must go away" for "They [the government and the 'dark one's comrades] will come for us [Kino's family]," (61). In other words, Kino may suffer large consequences for killing a man thus having to leave the village. Also, before Kino fights the trackers, the trackers "heard a coyote pup cry like a baby," and become determined to "stop it," (86) and shoot their rifle. The shot caused Coyotito to lye "in the little cave with the top of his head shot away" (89). Having these burdens let Kino realize how much more important his family is than money.
Kino gains the trait of greediness through the money he is capable of obtaining. When Kino attempts to sell the pearl, the dealer offers him "a thousand pesos," (50) but Kino then exclaims in an angry that "it's worth fifty thousand," (50) which lets the reader infer that Kino is angry as to how the dealers tried to cheat him. For a poor Native American like Kino, a thousand pesos is more than he probably earns in a year. It also shows that he is greedy and wants a large amount of money. Having Kino commit various sins after the attempt to sell it, Juana desperately tries to throw the pearl back into the ocean. Having have tried to, Kino then "struck her in the face with a clenched fist..." (59) as punishment. The punishment implies that Kino is willing resign towards the pearl and willingly beat up a loved one, thus representing his greediness.
Kino becomes well aware that his family's safety is much more immense than the pearl. When Kino explains the pearl's music, "it's [the pearl] music of promise and delight, ... guarantee of future, of comfort, of security," (39) the pearl seems to have so much worth, it is almost as if it were to be worth as much as Kino's life. Kino is significantly saying that he believes that the pearl can give both him, and his family a financially stable future. Then the truth of the pearl is revealed as "Kino heard the music of the pearl, distorted and insane..." (89) and that the pearl was nothing but a nightmare. Kino's opinion about the pearl drastically changes over time thus his opinion changing, Kino then flings the pearl into the ocean. Therefore, Kino is willing to sacrifice his "pearl of the world" for his family and learns from his mistakes, his life experiences.
Kino's experiences and thoughts imply that money can only bring one hardships and mishap thus does he pick his family over his extravagant pearl. One may learn from this moral that in life, to choose between money and a loved one, pick the loved one for it will gain you a stronger relationship and prevention from mishap. Though this would rarely happen in life, if a suspicious stranger were looking for a loved one and offered one a million dollars if given any information, what would that person choose? The option of gaining a stronger bond or the option of isolating from the loved one and gaining money? Well, then again, money is just green paper with some value.
This is the given format of my essay:
Intro Paragraph
I. Broad Opening Statement
A. 1 sentence
B. Introduce the topic (not referring to the book)
II. Background Info
A. 1 sentence
B. "In..."
C. Six pieces of info
1. Author's name
2. Type of work
3. Title
4. Protagonist & Setting
5. Conflict
III. Thesis (1 sentence)
A. Central Idea
B. 3 areas of support
Body Paragraphs Subordinate conjunctions
I. Subthesis
A. Central Idea (C. I.)
B. One area of support
II. Context ("When", "Whenever", "As", "Even though") with integrated citation
III. Connect back to C. I.
A. Analysis
B. Elaboration
IV. Transition into new context and integrated citation
IV. Connect back to C. I.
1. Analysis
2. Elaboration
V. Extend upon your now proven central idea
Concluding Paragraph
I. Revisit your now proven central idea.
II. Explain why the topic of the essay is important
A. Do not say "This is important because..."
B. Leave the book and make a real world statement
III. End with a poignant broad closing statement
killing a man, thus having to leave the village
Coyotito to lie "in the little cave with the top of his head shot away" (89). Having these burdens lets Kino realize how much more important
in an angry voice
Having have tried to? huhh?
this sentence doesnt make much sense: Kino's experiences and thoughts imply that money can only bring one hardships and mishap thus does he pick his family over his extravagant pearl.
besides those minor issues, you did great :)
