You need to learn to use more punctuation marks. Your sentences become hard to read because there is no portion for the reader to pause. The pauses, periods, are important because is delivers the meaning of the paragraph by allowing the reader a chance to pause and understand the paper. In its current form, your intentions are all strewn together in tremendously long sentences. Try to edit the sentences down using periods so that the essence of each paragraph will be fully understood. Take for example:
Why I wish to become a nurse?
I wish to become a nurse for many reasons one of the biggest reasons I wish to become a nurse
- I wish to become a nurse for many reasons. O
ne of the biggest reasons I wish to become...
- See how that allows the reader to understand that you will be mentioning the reasons yo want to become a nurse?
I assisted in caring for my grandmother during her battle with cancer during that time I seen that the nurses are not just involved in providing care with medicine but also with compassion and understanding not only to the patient but also to their families.
- I assisted in caring for my grandmother during her battle with cancer. During that time...
- First you state a fact, then you state what you learned from the experience. Two separate but connected topics. Do you see the flow?
Why do I believe that I would be a good nurse?
I believe that I would make a good nurse because I
am understand the dedication and the commitment that it takes to be a nurse.
- just a grammatical correction there.
to every type of person
- ... for
- grammar correction
also use the proper safety techniques taught during my training to become a nurse.
- and I will also be expected to
As a nurse I believe my responsibilities will be to know the rules and regulations of the facility I am employed. A nurse must also be able to follow directions given by the person in charge so that you can provide the best possible care to the patient. Must also be able to follow through with assignments to protect the care of the patients your caring for in order for them to return to daily life as soon as possible.
- Excellent. I would like to suggest an addition though which I believe will make the conclusion even stronger. You can say something to the effect that you will hold yourself personally accountable for the disposition of the patient during his stay under your care. So you will do you best to treat not only the illness, the patient as well by practicing holistic nursing approaches whenever necessary.