also i wrote an essay for the duke university
please proof read it as well and tell me about the quality of writing
If you are applying to the Pratt School of Engineering, please discuss why you want to study engineering and why you would like to study at Duke
From the very beginning curiosity had its way in my life.Though many a times,i was usually carried away by the "wonders of science and engineering",as I liked to call them,but the very first time any of these wonders really attained my attention was on my eighth birthday.My parents gifted me a remote controlled(R.C.)car.What really fascinated me was the wireless interface that operated the car.I was a little genius on my own but nothing really crept in an eight years old mind that solved the mystery of the car to move wirelessly.I believed that the only person i can count on helping me was my science teacher.It was Friday afternoon and i found it hard to pass the weekend.When i met him i placed my query in front of him and asked him to describe me the real phenomena behind this.He simply said "transmitters in the remote send radio waves or electromagnetic frequencies to an RC car. The operator moves the controls on his remote control and the transmitter connects to the car via the radio carrier wave.These in turn drives the motor and bring the car in motion".That was too much for a third grade kid.I was unable to make heads or tails of what i had just heard and e back home disappointed. .My father,who had physics upto his college level, explained to me that it is the working of all waves and stuff that carry whatever i do on the remote to the car and in turn the car responds to them by way of motion.
That kept me satisfied for sometime but one thing really pinched me,the words of an authority really amount to some critical reasoning and it would be my bad luck not to explore its meaning to its extent.A curiosity so evoked in me instilled the habit to explore and conclude the facts on my own.I used my father's membership to a local library and read every book that had anything to do with science and technology stuff. Only then I came across a book that quenched my thirst. The book was on the wireless technology and discussed its applications in household appliances. The book stated that when a remote control tuned to the frequency of the car is operated, wireless signals are generated by the remote and received by the car. The car in turn converts those electrical signals into electronical commands that are directed to the electric dc motor and the car makes a move. Though i figured that whatever my teacher and my father told me about wireless circuitry was in one way or the other interrelated, it was actually my research on that particular point that really helped me understand the phenomena to its full extent.
It was an event that really changed the method of my approach, the way I see the world; the way i relate facts. Infact I was a curious about how everyday appliances work. Especially the way and working of television enthralled me by its ingenious design frame and remarkable functionality. I remember having researched the ways an electron gun really works for a pretty long period of time and eventually noticed that it was a part of my academic coursework (that carried off the burden for quite a period!!!).Thus all the hard work didn't went in vane and i learnt loads of new stuff in due course. My parents easily realized my thirst for knowledge and subscribed a couple of science and tech magazines Popular Science, It Now and Computing are among them. In addition i was given the facility of surfing the internet to explore further and beyond my topic of interest.
As i grew so did my curiosity about the miracles of technology. The way i see it that technology is a never ending process, active proof that society can only improve over an era. With the time it is bound to increase and so will be my thirst to know the reason behind the working of every mechanism. With university's competitive atmosphere, hardworking students, devoted faculty and strong programs in Electrical, Mechanical, Civil, Biomedical and Aerospace engineering will allow me to make the best of my four years at college. What really appealed to me was the academic and research opportunities readily available on campus. For me Duke University is an opportunity to realize truths about the world. I see Duke University as a chance to expand the horizons of my thought, to think about the world as a bigger place, to analyze its problems in a logical way and accept the life as an opportunity to understand the world around us.
thank you very much for your help
i really appreciate it
PS tell me would i be able to get admission in DUKE with this essay???????????
I couldn't say, because I am not an admissions officer.
But personally, I think you essay is better good, and after you fix the spelling mistakes, it should be fine.
It really shows your knowledge with enginneering.
I like it, because with my essay for brooklyn college, i took a different approach. And I'm still working on it.
Personlly, I like your essay very much!
Here is my tip.
As to "What really appealed to me was the academic and research opportunities readily available on campus", I think you can tell more details about that like some excellent academic programs or research opportunities. Also,try to show what you will contribute to Duke. A good "why essay" need to be specific and sincere.
thank you very much for your kind tips and advices
i am looking forward to edit my essay on the very same terms