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A 500-word biography that outlines your educational and extracurricular interests.


harold404 1 / -  
Jan 11, 2015   #1
A 500-word biography that outlines your educational and extracurricular interests. Please include an explanation of why you wish to participate in the International Baccalaureate program and what you believe you could contribute.

I am currently at around 490 words, changes, addings, deletions are all encouraged. thank you very much, much help is needed!!!

Biography:

April 4th, 2000; Chinese Remembrance Day. A day so often celebrated with mourning and weeping; however within the walls of the Beijing Hospital, laughter followed the cries of a new birth. Those shrill cries belonged to, you guessed it, me.

Ever since I can connect with reality, my fascination for the Arts was unlimited. The colour formations and collage of images always captured my attention. Throughout the years of Kindergarten and mid term of Grade one, I established my basis of visual arts and stabilized my fundamental capabilities in sketching. During that period, I also started taking lessons on Guzheng, piano and dance. Dance class was among my most treasured memories back in those days. Through hours of dedication to this hobby, I finally stood upon national television with my classmates. That day was one of the most important milestones in my life, as it was followed with moving to Canada.

In 2007, my family decided to move to Canada. Through Chinese's teachings, I have learned very minimum on western history and culture. So; naturally, I felt intrigued to learn more about the North American civilization. As I attended school; I developed a strong interest on writing and science. As well as track and field in the fitness curriculum. During my free time; I would often be seen interacting with friends and doing track activities. Resulting from the love for this sport; I have also clenched two 200m city final titles, as well as a Harry Jerome Track Meet relay bronze.

Because of my transition from China to Canada; I am fluent in both Mandarin and English. Currently, I'm studying French and a bit of Cantonese; in hopes of achieving fluency by the end of high school.

I would say I'm an over achiever. Always trying my best and going beyond. This resulted in numerous competition involvements. In 2012, my senior math class enrolled in a Canadian wide math competition named "The Maple Leaf Math Challenge". It was a competition involving over 17,000 students from around Canada. Out of those 17,000; I competed very well and placed first. This placing advanced my class to an even bigger event called "The World Education Games". Where tens and hundreds of thousands of students from around the world get to compete in English, Math and Science. I fortunately placed in top 25 in the world in Science. At the same time, placing second for Canada. Two years later, my poem was published in a book by the Polar Expression Publisher. This year; I hope my short story will also make the finals.

I can contribute an interactive learning environment by granting help for others. Though I would also like to absorb different points of views from peers. I believe the IB program can fulfill my hopes of gaining more knowledge. At the same time, expand my capabilities and potentials.
marissa 2 / 2 1  
Jan 13, 2015   #2
Ever since I can connect with reality, my fascination for the Arts was unlimited.

If you are referring to a specific time, keep "Ever since" but, if you are trying to provide a reason for your fascination, it would be better to say "Due to the fact that,". Instead of saying "was unlimited," say "has become limitless" or something similar.

Also, instead of saying "Throughout the years of Kindergarten", make it more personal by saying, "Throughout my years in kindergarten,"


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