In an essay of no more than 500 words, please select three words that describe you best and tell us how you will use these qualities/characteristics to contribute fully to the BU community.
Change: a monosyllabic word that which embeds an abysmal chasm into one's psyche. In Alice's case, change was in "Wonderland". In my case? It was in America.
Upon arrival, I was greeted a question so brutal that makes one perspire of ambivalence while being stabbed by the knife of insecurity-"Who are YOU?"
"I knew who I WAS, but now I hardly know."
It took Alice one trip to Wonderland, while it took me five years to unravel- and still unraveling-the ultimate riddle of self-identity. I may be, in pretense, a reserve, composed, and seemingly unimaginative individual yet behind that façade, "through the looking glass", beckons the presence of the eccentric Hatter, the compulsive White Rabbit, and the ingenious White Knight.
Just like the Mad Hatter, I have my own fair share of idiosyncratic behavior. Whether it be talking "too fast", laughing inappropriately, or staring at the ceiling in the middle of a crowded hallway, to randomly reciting "Mychonny's" comedic lines on Youtube or obsessively adding new phone charms on my already cluttered phone, I find that these unconventional ways stem from my childish desire to stand out in what used to be a bleak, bland existence. I use to think that "standing out" meant a desperate attempt to escape the confines of insecurity. However, being eccentric meant being heard. I felt that my conservative canvas needed a colorful palette of liberal thought- a healthy median.
Patience hasn't always been my virtue. Time is of the essence and every second spent lingering is a drop of regret well earned. That has always been my mantra. Every waking day is planned and it has always suit me well. However, as John Lennon said: "Life happens when you're busy making other plans." I may have lost the essence of life for I have been living under the dictates of time. I have missed countless opportunities to get to know family because I forgot to let life happen. I may be driven but I am flawed as well.
Being flawed only means that unending search for the improbable perfection. I have always considered myself as a perfectionist which is channeled best in my own creativity. The White Knight was described to have been fond of inventions. Similarly, I myself am a "tinker". When it comes to school projects, mine is projected through its excessive and meticulous display of imagination. I once made "Shoji" lanterns from scratch for a mere character web in my English class. Stretching the boundaries of my own capabilities is something I pride myself with. It is in success that creates a defining moment. It is in failure that I find motivation.
As a prospective Boston University student, I see myself chasing the "White Rabbit" and plummeting down the "rabbit hole" where a land that gets "curiouser and curiouser" awaits me. I will diversify BU's intellectual wonderland with my eccentric ways, fresh insights, and immense dedication for intellectual curiosity.
I will give you a "tea party" of "maddening" proportions.
This is pretty great. I mean, really enjoyed your essay and the way in which you managed to tie in Alice in Wonderland into all of it. good job :)
Not gonna lie: I was a bit confused with the intro for a second, but it made sense once I hit the self-identity part.
Otherwise,I'm not really sure what you're looking for feedback wise, maybe if you have space with the word count give more specifics on how you'll contribute to BU? (Although I don't know how necessary that is.) Sorry I'm not of much help, but I really do like this!
If you have time, would you mind going over my essay for BU (It's def not as good as yours... but help would be appreciated!)
Very Creative!
mention the White rabbit in your second paragraph
"Change: a monosyllabic word that which embeds an abysmal chasm into one's psyche. In Alice's case, change was in "Wonderland". In my case? It was in America."
hmmm - so this beginning makes the reader think youre are going to go into this anecdote about how you struggled with cultural identity - which you don't do (probably a good thing - that topic is pretty overdone). it doesn't really fit and takes away from the cohesiveness of your essay. I think if you just scrap this and tweak the next part, your essay would flow nicely.
Other than that - great job!
