I love talking. Don't get me wrong. I am not Oprah. Talking about feelings and emotions is certainly not my forte. Instead, I love getting to the bottom of things. "Boiling things down", translated into the vernacular, gives me satisfaction that I have a unique answer to a pressing issue in the world. Be it common topics such as the justification of the death penalty or arcane themes like the meaning of life, I believe I have something meaningful to say on "real" issues. At Boston University, I would love nothing more than to find a group of similar people whose idea of fun is to sit around a room, sip hot chocolate, and use logic to find answers through our ability to "boil down" the cacophony of opinions in our world into a meaningful symphony.
Perhaps, my thirst for knowledge, as the cliché goes, came from my inquisitiveness. Being naturally curious has always been a part of how I make every-day decisions. It doesn't have to be a very difficult decision; it can even be as simple as deciding how to waste time. Wasting time is regrettably, what I was required to do at my state speech qualifier. Between rounds, speakers can wait as long as two to three hours. Some young men choose to spend that time by sitting around the comfortable tables playing endless, banal games of Blackjack and Poker. No, I was not satisfied with wasting my time in that manner. Instead, I was outside headed off into a direction I found appealing in the efforts to explore the university's campus. During the hours of exploring this unknown "jungle", as I called it, I found several interesting places of interests such as clean bathrooms, a small church, and even a garden that lay far away from the hall I started my journey from.
It is said that the character Polemarchus from Plato's Republic had the qualities, which Plato considered necessary for debaters. I revel in the arts of polemics. Only through questioning the conventional practices do we ever gain progress. AP Government is a class that has satiated my needs to be polemical. Recently, our class had the opportunity of introducing new bills to the principal for a chance our bills could have the opportunity of being enacted. After being assigned to a mock Rules Committee, I eagerly created a sub-committee to specialize in class recommendations. I argued before the class to adopt a resolution to forego parental overrides to teacher recommendations to AP classes. Many of my classmates introduced bills of making restrooms cleaner or improving cafeteria food, excellent issues in their own rights, but I chose to challenge a conventional method in hopes of progress.
I admire the owl. Although I think turning my head a full 360 degrees would be amazing, I admire the animal most because it is nocturnal. I choose to be nocturnal, never forced into it. A conundrum to be sure, I choose to be nocturnal as a offshoot of being inquisitive. Like many Americans, I love to watch the show Jeopardy. In one particular episode, "Watergate", or to appease those Jeopardy aficionados out there, "What is Watergate" turned out to be the winning answer. Alarms went off in head after hearing this word. What is the correlation between water and gate? My search began into finding out exactly what Watergate meant. My search lasted long into the night and it was filled with listening to political speeches, conducting carefully worded Google searches, and finally, ending with a thorough knowledge of the resignation of President Nixon. It is true that some knowledge can be considered useless, but to me it's all trivia.
Being inquisitive, polemical, and nocturnal, I believe I can touch the BU community. Our world has many questions. Just the people at Boston University can help me find at least a helpful lead on these pressing questions. A think-tank of collectively unique minds will mesh together ideas in order to find answers.
I love your style of writing. And honestly, I find nothing wrong with it. Nothing stands out to me but your choice of words and how you explore what they mean to you then connect it to the university is absolutely brilliant.
I'm sorry I don't have as much to say about your essay as you did on mine, you're just that much of a better writer than me! However, it seems a bit long... I'm not sure about BU's word limit but have a check?
You're good and I think you'll be fine with your top-choice university, no need to worry about BU :)
Cheers
loooove this essay :). some suggestions:
I love talking, d on't get me wrong. But I am not Oprah. Talking about feelings and emotions is certainly not my forte. these sentences are a little choppy, maybe combine some.
Perhaps, my thirst for knowledge
Wasting time is regrettably, what I was required to do at my state speech qualifier.
Instead, I was outside headed off into a direction I found appealing in my efforts to explore the university's campus.
you seem to have stuck in a lot of commas (sometimes it interrupts the flow of your sentences), I'd look over it again in that regard
read mine please?
As far as grammar mistakes and sentence structure it is good. You are a good writer too.
I felt a little distracted when I read your essay because you talk about so many things, but it's kind of a style thing. You have a unique style.
Very nice essay. There's a lot of voice in this, and it's refreshing to read.
But it's a common misconception that the owl can turn its head 360 degrees. It can unfortunately only do 270.
But it's a common misconception that the owl can turn its head 360 degrees. It can unfortunately only do 270.
Gasp. I am shocked. Nice fact checking, thanks!
I like that you gave an image of you being in BU but what makes you think that this is how it will be?
Who really knows what their life in a uni. is gonna be? I avoided going way beyond such as I'm going to make this club or that club and organize this fundraiser. my original idea was to start a Thinktank but that sounded far-fetched.
lol.. I like the essay. Just minor probs...avoid contractions such as "don't" in the first part. and don't use "BU" use Boston University. I think it sounds better like that and it will flow better.
Overall it's an outstanding essay.
Great Job!!
i think its fine to use "BU". it sounds like "Be you." Boston U (BU) a place to "be you" ... haha ok that sounds dumb... but who knows. inspiration?
The deadline is extended to the 4th.
I didn't find any mistakes that was not stated by someone else already.
Just the people at Boston University can help me find at least a helpful lead on these pressing questions.
Suggestion to change "just" to "only"
Besides that, I think your essay is great. It truly show your character and extensive vocabulary.
Any more critiques would be appreciated.
Wow I think this is an excellent essay, and I truly feel like I have learned alot about you after reading it. Try not to use contractions such as " don't" in the first part. And be sure to type out Boston University not " BU"
