Hi, I would really love it if you checked for content and grammer-related errors; I would also love it if you checked for a concrete structure and message.
Prompt: What work of art, music, science, mathematics, or literature has surprised, unsettled, or challenged you, and in what way?
Hadron Particle Collider
A work of science that has surprised me is the large Hadron Particle Collider. The reason the collider has surprised me is because the goal of the scientists is to recreate the Big Bang. The knowledge of the Hadron Particle Collider surprised me when I learned that the scientists intend recreate a form of matter called quark-gluon, which only existed in ephemeral amounts after the Big Bang Collision. The though of this has both surprised and challenged me. I previously used to just wonder in curiosity what the areas surrounding the Big Bang impact must have been like during and after the collusion. In my pessimistic beliefs, I though that scientists would never discover the answer to my epistemological question. The creation of the Hadron Particle Collider has proven me wrong in that not only can scientists recreate the Big Bang impact, but they can also recreate the smallest form of matter that barely existed. Learning about the Hadron Particle Collider has not only surprised me, it has also changed me. I used to think that scientists could never recreate something momentous as the Big Bang collusion, but after learning about the collider, I learned the weakness in my schema - I used to have only negative beliefs that Thing A could never happen, but now, I have a optimistic view of things, I learned that anything is possible - 'if there is a will then there is a way.'Good evening :)
Please refer to my comments on your other papers in regards to mechanical corrections. For this paper, make sure when you use quotation marks they are the double (") quotation marks and that the first word of the sentence contained in them is capitalized.
In regards to content for this piece, it is a great answer to the prompt. You tell what the item that has changed you, how, and why. Your intro and conclusion also tie up this piece nicely.
Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com
