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UC Prompt; Working as an L.I.T. has helped me "give back" to the community


YOPAG 1 / -  
Nov 27, 2012   #1
Prompt:Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

Please give feedback! Anything I should add, remove, change?

Throughout my life, I have been taught to give back, whether being to my family, school, or the community in general. My father was one of the people who gave back the most; he was the person in the family who was always sending boxes back to the Philippines containing the necessities to stay healthy: toothbrushes, food, rice, clothes, stuffed animals for the kids, etc. However, since I was young at the time, I was always curious on why he was giving away the things that we had bought with our own money, to people halfway around the world and he told me, "Honey, there are less fortunate people than us in the world. They could be sick or starving right now. Giving back to the places where you came from is like helping at a hospital. Remember this, giving the simplest things whether it being food or clothes can help someone and might have a great impact on someone's life and they'll thank you with some act of kindness in the future."

Since then, I decided to do the same thing but on a smaller scale. About four years ago I was accepted in a summer program with Union City Leisure Services called Leaders In Training. This is a program where I experienced first-hand what it's like to lead a group of children, from ages five to twelve, with adult supervision to correct my mistakes or give advice. Working as an L.I.T. has helped me "give back" because I was watching over kids from 8 AM to 4 PM on a daily basis, for community service, until school had started in the fall. Although I am proud of myself for giving back to the community, I am most proud of something that I helped start with some of the kids at camp. Some of the children also decided to become L.I.T.s and I had asked some of them why they did so, and some of them said, "I wanted to become an L.I.T. because I had seen how much fun you were having with us and the smiles that you had put on most of our faces when we were feeling down. I decided that I wanted to do the same thing with kids of the next generation, so that way kids won't see this as a day camp, but a fun place to hang out and make new friends."

Working in the Leaders in Training program has helped me develop skills of leadership and customer service that I once didn't have. These skills have helped me in certain situations, and will hopefully help me in the medical field. I am certainly proud of myself for making kids smile and look forward to their days to come. Not only did I give back to the community but I helped make them happy, and happiness can last for a lifetime.
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Nov 28, 2012   #2
Throughout my life, I have been taught to give back, whether being to my family, school, or the community in general.

This sounds a bit awkward,.... the part ''family, school or community'' doesn't make much sense : ( ....
This is my suggestion;
Through out my life, I have been taught to be generous and share with others.

My father was one of the people who gave back the most; he was the person in the family who was always sending boxes back to the Philippines containing the necessities to stay healthy: toothbrushes, food, rice, clothes, stuffed animals for the kids, etc.

you dont have to give such details... they dont add value to your essay ... Instead you should talk about that quality and how it made you proud of.

My suggestion;
It was my father who always set examples of this worthy quality. He never forgot to look after his siblings, who were not doing so well financially, living in the Philippines. He used to send them parcels very often that carried dry rations to cloths. As a young kid I was often annoyed why my father was so generous.


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