I have to write an essay with the following prompt
please describe an experience that illustrates what you would bring to the diversity in a college community, or an encounter that demonstrated the importance of diversity to you
Could you please read it, and tell me if it answers the prompt and editing that i need. Thanks
In between the rustle of the leaves, I distinguished the sound I had been horrified to hear. I glanced over my shoulder to see if anyone else had managed to hear the incoming rattling and squeaking noise I heard. However to my relief, my classmates hadn't seemed to notice. But as the sound grew louder, I began to tremble. Then suddenly the brakes squealed and I knew my ride had arrived. I should have been happy to see my dad but his rusty, gray, old car reminded why I wish I was never picked up. His car stood out among the new svu's every parent seemed to be driving. The car quickly reminded me why I was different from the rest. To me it wasn't just because of the car but it was seemingly everything. At that moment I wanted to be someone else, I wanted to be like all the rich kids I saw. Resisting my desire to run, I kept asking myself, why did I have to be poor?, why did I have to be Hispanic? why did I have to live a different life than everyone else? Shying my face I darted to my car, refusing to look back. I didn't want people to know that I was even more different than I appeared.
I experienced this fear, all the time growing up, and a couple years later many things remain the same. I am still different from most kids; I am still poor, my parents keep working in the same indignant jobs, and they to this day own that gray car. I still have my brown colored skin and I continue to be a Peruvian living in America. Yet one thing has changed, and after maturing and realizing America is a land of diversity, it is this difference that I once abhorred, that I now cherish. I no longer see my difference as limitations; instead I see them as opportunities to a get better. While being poor can seem like an ailment, I see it as motivator, a motivator to succeed and have a chance to do great things with what little I was given. My parents who continue to work like slaves don't embarrass me now, their hard work and sacrifices just make me proud of calling them mom and dad. Even more, my skin that once signaled me out to everyone for being that different kid, the Spanish kid, now points me out for being the Spanish kid who excels in school. My differences are what define and I will never forget of where I came from. When I was younger I tried hiding them, but now I want to tell everyone who I am. As I head off to college, I will take my differences with me I will retain my culture and childhood and remind everyone that in America it is ok to be different. I will prove to everyone that diversity doesn't set the bar of how far on can go, we each set our own bar, and my bar is set really high.
I should have been happy to see my dad but his rusty, gray, old car reminded why I wished I was never picked up.
His car stood out among the new SUV 's every parent seemed to be driving.
W hy did I have to be Hispanic?
I experienced this fear, ---No comma here.--- all the time growing up, and a couple years later many things remain the same.
It was After maturing and realizing America is a land of diversity, it is this difference that I once abhorred, that I now cherish.
My differences are what define me and I will never forget of where I came from.
... and my bar is set really high.---I love this last part!
Have fun in school and good luck! Nice essay!
:)
