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World beyond my village; "Memorable experience in high school"

Dec 24, 2009   #1
What experience in high school has mattered most to you? How do you see this experience influencing your decision-making in college?

I had never imagined world beyond my village, for lusty green hills stood tall all around the village obstructing my outlook of the other world. I could see nothing beyond therefore I had to accept my village to be the only world that existed. But I realized I was mistaken when I moved to Kathmandu at the age of 5, for my studies. I realized my village wasn't the only world; in fact it is one of the smallest places of one of the smallest countries in the world, Nepal.

Though every geography lessons I attended till my SLC (School Leaving Certificate) broadened up my view about the world to some extent, I wasn't totally convinced. Until later when I came to UK to study IB diploma, I was exposed to a new world, with all colorful fellow Pestalozzi scholars hailing from nooks and corner of the globe - I had only read about previously- I felt as if I was navigating the world.To be honest it wasn't something pleasant at the beginning. I couldn't distinguish between my Zambian and Zimbabwean friends; they all looked alike to me. But as days passed by, I not only learnt to distinguish them by their faces but by the content of their characters that is unique to them. Though we didn't have same skin color, religion or language, these two years of stay in diverse community taught me way we find similarities between those differences. Now I no more find cooking Tibetan food, dancing to African beats or watching Telugu movie unusual, for I believe these are the things that helped me bridge the gap we initially had between us.

I would have never learnt 8000 Zambian kwacha was just worth a chocolate, neither Chinese occupation in Tibet autonomous region, political instability in Zimbabwe or AIDS death toll rise in Africa would have created an impact on me, if I wouldn't have had chance to learn and live in heterogeneous environment. The first time I came across Tibetan issues I genuinely felt bad for all the Tibetans so I decided to get involved in their movement towards making Tibet a free country. I joined Student for Free Tibet run by my three Tibetan friends in college whereby I spreaded words about Tibet to all the people who were ignorant. Even during summer vacations in Nepal, I went to schools to teach children about Tibet. When I wore a T-shirt with Tibetan flag on, my uncle warned me not to go out with that t-shirt on, as in Nepal people who supported Tibetan issues were arrested. I was least bothered about it so I wore that t-shirt throughout my stay in Nepal ignoring what people said about it. After summer vacation when I came back I volunteered to give out a presentation about the secrets behind Beijing Olympics 2008 in college to all my IB friends. I too have hardly missed any presentation given by my African friends about AIDS. In every presentation, meetings or chats I had with my mates during our two year stay in Pestalozzi I have learnt things I never knew before.

Exposure to such a diverse international environment has amplified my love for my own nation as well igniting my desire to help my country in any way possible. For this reason I along with my three Nepali friends in Pestalozzi initiated a two year long project to raise funds to educate children of organisation -'Pahad'- who cannot afford to do so. We were able to raise 150 pounds that provided seven students with opportunity to go to school.

I believe these two years of stay in multicultural, multinational village- Pestalozzi-had turned me from Nepali citizen to global citizen. I have learnt not only how to accept but respect the fact that everyone of is unique. I have learnt how to understand and move beyond simple tolerance to embrace and celebrate the rich dimensions of diversity contained within each individual.

I want this experience to never stop and even grow broader. Looking at the number of nationalities represented at Pomona, just the idea of being there with peers from twenty two more nationalities thrills me tremendously as does the prospect of continuing my education in rich cultural environment USA, would have to offer. At Pomona I imagine exploring further about various things happening in the world from the people around me thus helping me to broaden my mind

Furthermore, I am also enthusiastic about liberal arts approach. Being IB student I got chance to spread my wings around wide variety of academic program in science and humanities. In other words, IB gave me chance to excel not only in my favourite subjects i.e. Biology but also introduced me to another very interesting subject Psychology. Moreover IB provided me freedom to choose any subject of my interest to write an extended essay on. I chose social anthropology. As it wasn't a part of IB course I got chance to grab new ideas from completely new subject area. These two years of unique way of learning experience was tremendously rewarding. It helped me discover more of myself and reinforce my previous interest and embrace new ones

However my journey of discovering myself doesn't stop here I hope pomona will accompany me in rest of my journey. I am so sure my hunger for grabbing new ideas will be satisfied once I get chance to experience diversity in curriculum offerings, multiculturalism offered at Pomona. These are some few factors that underline my decision for choosing Pomona as a college I can't wait to be the part of.

just put down your comments it will be really appreciated

Its long.
Also your essay is not cohesive enough. It will work better if you single out an idea and talk about it only. For instance, you may revolve your essay just around Free-Tibet Movement. How your stay in a heterogenous society has helped you embrace others' cultures and understand their concerns.
Dec 24, 2009   #3
Thank you so much for your comment. It is of some help. I will try and make it more cohesive and post the edited one..

I had never imagined world beyond my village, for lusty green hills stood tall all around the village obstructing my outlook of the other world.

Remove "all" and insert a comma:

".. around the village, obstructing..." Otherwise it sounds as if the village is obstructing your outlook.

Though every geography lessons

"... geography lesson.." "Lesson" is single.

To be honest it wasn't something pleasant at the beginning.

Remove "something".

I got through about half of this before stopping. You describe so many different experiences that your essay began to lose focus. I second Wanderer_x; you need to make this more cohesive. Also, your last sentence is a little awkward; you may want to fix that.

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