Discuss some issue of personal, local, national, or international concern and its importance to you. -Common App- (500 words)
Three SAT's and a few applications and essays in and I am exhausted. I keep trying to believe that I can make the deadline but just that absorbs all my energy and leaves none for the processes themselves. Games seem more and more amusing, but I still want to go to a top quality university. The battle rages on between the loss and the maintenance of it: hope.
The world is currently in a major crisis. Although many might automatically think the economy, I feel that the true crisis at hand is a loss in hope. Because of our hopelessness, we continually fall towards failure. Global warming is also another crisis that brings doom to mind; however, it is due to a feeling of hopelessness among people that nothing absolute is done towards a greener world. If those that truly seek the root of a problem search hard enough, they too will come to the same conclusion. We must subdue this feeling and try hard to work toward our goals.
As I started my senior year in high school, I felt no pressure and was carefree. I knew an impending SAT was coming up but did not think too much about it to keep from accumulating stress. I was also hopeful and felt I would do very well on it. My hope of a good result earned me a 220 point stride.
We started two AP courses for the first time in our school and I had no idea what to expect. It was very rigorous but not much from our standard curriculum. I felt I could manage these demanding courses. I started a study habit and was on my way to success.
When it came time to study for what I thought was my last SAT, maintaining a solid GPA of a 4.0 became harder and harder. I started to feel the perspiration. This was not the end; it became much more elaborate. I found out that I had to write a slew of essays for the colleges that I was applying to, not to mention the endless and confusing applications.
The Common Application was an invaluable reference until I got to the supplements. I felt as if a college needed to ask these questions, why not just do an interview? This ludicrous method of acceptance made me not want any part of it; after all, it seemed impossible. I had started to lose hope.
Just as I had lost my hope, my passionate desire to go to a top quality university motivated me to strive to accomplish the process. Just then, I realized what our problem is and how we can fix it. It may seem obvious that through motivation we can achieve our ambitions; on the other hand, it is not as plain for everyone to see. Until we open our eyes and picture ourselves where we want to be, we can not get there.
Ultimately, I feel that the lack of hope is a serious problem that the whole world faces. If I had not apprehended this philosophy, I could have neither formulated this essay nor been able to finish any of my goals. Hope is what keeps us going and that alone is what I treasure the most.
I currently have 543 words, so I need help in both brevity and grammar.
-Thanks a 1000 in advance.
I think what you write is interesting because it reminds the admission officers of the hard work we have to go through and will prolly make them think about your application more? but i feel that maybe you can take out a specific international matter and talk about how it relates to you instead of writing about the struggles you had with the application process in general. but i dunno much about admissions being an international stud. so this is just my two cents worth
It is well appreciated my friend. I will take note of it.
Oh... I see that the issue you chose to write about is "hope."
It is great that you show how hope plays a role in many aspects of life. However, you need to concentrate on a few big issues and show how hope can help the situation.
I think the whole first paragraph has to go.. but please do not let that discourage you. You write very well, so I think you should revise this to address a SPECIFIC issue, as they expect (for your approach, the issue of the environment would be a good fit), and PRESENT "HOPE" AS PART OF THE SOLUTION.
So, hope is not the issue, it is the antidote. Serious revision is necessary, but not because of the writing. The writing is great. Present hope as the solution, but choose an ISSUE.
Sorry you have more work to do!!
:)
Aw man...More work?:D Yeah, I was a little iffy on this one more than the other two. The "hope" idea, I thought was a knockout, never heard of before. But you are right about the content. Hopelessness=Issue; Hope=Antidote! Here we go...
Yes, don't misunderstand my criticism, it is a knockout! Just make that slight change.
Merged:The world is currently in a major crisis. Common App Issue of Concern
I am exhausted. Three SATs and a few applications accompanied by an onslaught of essays have worn me out. I keep trying to believe that I can make the deadlines, but that alone absorbs all of my energy and leaves none for the processes themselves. Distractions seem more and more amusing, but a top quality education stimulates me more than ephemeral pleasures. Time soars at unstoppable speeds, and I feel as if I will reach my end before the deadline. The internal conflict of hopelessness in these kinds of seemingly impossible situations leads many to failure.
The world is currently in a major crisis. Although many might automatically think of the economy, I feel that the true crisis at hand is a loss of hope. Because of our hopelessness, we continually fall towards failure. Global warming is also another crisis that brings doom to mind; however, it is due to a feeling of hopelessness among people that nothing absolute is done towards a greener world. We must subdue this feeling and try hard to work toward our goals.
As I started my senior year in high school, I felt no pressure and was carefree. I knew an impending SAT was coming up, but I did not stress about it. I was also hopeful and felt I would do very well on it. My hope of a good result earned me a 220 point stride from my previous score; although, I had no idea of the impending challenges that were ahead.
When it came time to study for what I thought was my last SAT, maintaining a solid GPA of a 4.0 became harder and harder especially with two AP courses racing on. I started to feel the pressure. This was not the end; it became much more elaborate. I found out that I had to write a slew of essays for the colleges that I was applying to, not to mention the endless and confusing applications.
The Common Application was an invaluable reference until I got to the supplements. I felt that if a college needed to ask these questions, why not just do an interview? This ludicrous method of acceptance made me not want any part of it; after all, it seemed impossible. I had started to lose hope.
Just as I had started to lose hope, my passionate desire to go to a top quality university motivated me to strive to complete the process. Just then, I realized a major concern that we are facing and how we can fix it. It may seem obvious that through motivation we can achieve our ambitions. On the other hand, it is not as plain for everyone to see. Until we open our eyes and picture ourselves where we want to be, we can not get there.
Ultimately, I feel that the lack of hope is a serious problem that the whole world faces. If I had not comprehended this philosophy, I could have not formulated this essay nor been able to accomplish any of my goals. Hope is what keeps us going and that alone is what I treasure the most.
This is my final copy of the common essay. If there are any mistakes, please do not hold back any comments or suggestions.
Thanks in advance!
i think you're a really good writer and i was able to create an image in my head of what you were trying to say
but I don't get what you're ultimately trying to say
is it basically how you're very ambitious, driven, and always have hope?
did you do the topic of your choice or did you answer one of the questions?
Three SATs, a few applications, and an onslaught of essay requirements have worn me out.
Oh... I see what joke0611 mans about this.. it is all over the place with different ideas. I think you are supposed to be writing about an isse, such as the economy, or the environment, or war...
You need to start off with a powerful statement about an issue of concern, and then tell how you might make a difference with the empowerment you receive from this school -- with its unique resources and programs. Maybe you can write about steps that faculty members have taken to attend to issues of concern... most importantly, show your excellent writing skill (which you clearly have) and show how you intend to make a meaningful contribution with regard to this issue -- the issue that will be the focus of the whole essay.
Good luck!! Sorry there is more work to do!
:)
