Any glaring grammatical mistakes? This one was pretty easy to write, but difficult to get down to 150 words!!
"We're kicking off the 300 lb man because he'd sink the boat" said the confidant yet naive sixth grader, nodding his head decidedly. I tried not to let a chuckle escape from my lip as my peers bit their tongues to prevent laughter from spreading like an unstoppable heat wave. Granted, we trapped the students into making stereotypical judgments, but I never expected anything this outrageous. "World of Difference", to the average ear, doesn't sound like a meaningful club. However, our presentations in middle schools are always shocking. We introduce a cast of 13 characters representing various cultural, religious, and physical stereotypes. The students are told to save ten people for a new society; three must perish. During the conclusion, we break down the misconceptions and casually state that the "athlete" is a ping-pong player, the "McDonald's employee" is a corporate executive, and no, a "hijab" is not a weapon.
-I really feel like I need a concluding statement... damn these word limits!
Sorry, the prompt is:
In the space provided below, please elaborate on one of your activities (extracurricular, personal activities, or work experience)(150 words or fewer).
I like the ending the way it is now, actually. This is clever and original. One thing, though:
my peers bit their tongues to prevent laughter from spreading like an unstoppable heat wave.
Do heat waves spread? Or do they more persist? I'm not sure that the metaphor is quite right, here. Perhaps you could alter it a bit.
