Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
When I was younger, I was a disappointing student, and my parents could not help me because they were not academically prepared themselves. They tried their best to help me, but that halted when I entered middle school. I had to teach myself to learn whenever I did not comprehend something. This has affected my life since it forced me to work hard in school and always aim high.
My world has always revolved around learning. Life has taught me to apply everything I have learned to it. My family has shaped my life by providing me support and care. My parents always tell me that hard work will pay off and that I should keep trying until success is found. I did not agree with the idea at first, but as time passed, I realized that it was true. My grades were increasingly superior and I was getting academic awards. I kept that thought with me for all my classes.
School has shaped my life by allowing me to interact with new people and new opportunities ever since childhood. Every class meant different people to meet and new things to learn. It has given me the chance to see the diverse careers people are pursuing. School and education have given me a wider space to explore what is out there by granting me what I need to know in order to strive later on. I have also learned that all my hard work was not solely for the purpose to making my family pleased, but also to make me a better person and more successful.
School alone was not enough to shape my life for the future, so I had to take on different activities. My membership in Key Club has given me a better image of what the world is like and how communities act together as a whole by allowing me the chance to be included. I got involved with society through volunteering at events like breast cancer walks and community gatherings. I was no longer shielded from the fact that there is so much to learn from other people and everything else out there. My world has shaped my aspirations through helping me decide what is most beneficial for my future and changing my overall perception of the real world of knowledge.
hi nk92.
I really like your essay.but I think you should be more specific.
give some situations has effected your life.
by the way there are many essays talk about your topic: Describe the world you come from.
this is the link for these essays: ?phrase=Describe+the+world+you+come+from+paper
I will give some situations, but is there anything in this paragraph that I should remove or make a new paragraph out of?
Not to be mean, but I think your essay is to vague. Like a lot of the details you provided can apply to anyone.
My membership in Key Club and the Vietnamese Student Association (VSA) has given me a better image of what the world is like and how communities act together as a whole.
How? What activities did you do?
I think you should expand on more of your topics and maybe even narrow it down.
In the beginning of your paragraph, it seems like you're more focused on how your parents taught you, but you're not saying what you think about it. Do you agree? Do you follow?
these are just suggestions so you don't have to follow them, but I would definitely make this essay more specific.
best of luck.
Don't worry about being mean haha, any suggestions are greatly appreciated.
Yes, you are a bit vague, but it is nice that you are responsive to the prompt.
Some people ignore the prompt and do not respond to it directly... you do a good job of responding directly to it, but you need some more detasils about your goals and aspirations...
Show them how focused you are on achieving your goals through their program!
Okay, so I fixed up more.
School alone was not enough to shape my life for the future, so I had to take on various activities. My membership in Key Club enabled me to be included in a process of interaction and enhanced my perspective on the worl d is like how communities act together as a whole. by allowing me the chance to be included.
See, ask yourself if this sentence really says anything or not: My world has shaped my aspirations through helping me decide what is most beneficial for my future and changing my overall perception of the real world of knowledge.----> that sentence does not really say anything at all! So, we call that fluff. It is beter to kill it and write a sentence about a particular faculty member at the school... a particular research interest... something particular.
