Florida State University
Vires signifying strength is reflected in my life in various ways. Academically I am very strong in the area of mathematics and enjoy business as well as economics. This strength has allowed me have a better understanding of the challenges our society and economy is facing in these troubled times. Physical strength, an attribute I have acquired through my hard work and dedication to wrestling. As a member of the variety wrestling team, I have challenged myself and pushed myself to maintain the level of strength needed to endure the trying matches. Morality, a code of conduct in the teaching of right and wrong is a value I learned early in light and have continued to learn through my schooling as well as by being a Boy Scout. Part of the Boy Scout law, "To keep myself physically strong, mentally awake, and morally straight", is something I recite every week and believe in.
Artes, exemplified by my artistic skill and creativity gives me an avenue to express myself. Utilizing my artistic skill I have shared my creativity in designing a wall with inspirational art at a center for children and adults with severe and multiple developmental disabilities. Mores referring to character, custom or tradition is an important part of my life as well as my families. For the past 12 years, I have been involved with various organizations, which has been instrumental in forming my character as it is today. As a Life Scout in the Boy Scouts of America, I am currently working on my Eagle Project so that by December I will be awarded with the great honor and distinction of being an Eagle Scout. My Eagle project, along with other projects that I have been involved with in helping those less fortunate has helped me realize how fortunate I am. I have been blessed with a family that has had a history of working with those less fortunate and has always engaged me. These events, like feeding the homeless, working with cancer patients, or assisting those with mental or physical challenges has now become a custom and a tradition with my family. As it has been passed down to me through many generations, I plan to instill these same values to my family and future generations.
Attending Florida State and receiving a higher education has always been a goal of mine. By following the guiding philosophy of Florida State University, I have overcome obstacles and preserved, and by continuing to follow this philosophy, I know that I can obtain the goals I set for myself.
Good morning.
Your introduction needs a little bit of work as it has a couple run-on sentences in it. I also suggest you take a quick refresher on comma use, as there are some spots that need them one or two that have them that shouldn't, and some in the wrong place with regards to quotation marks.
Your essay is a good response to the prompt; you give good reasons and support them with detailed examples. The conclusion also wraps things up nicely. Good work.
Regards,
Gloria
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