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'been on a wrestling team' - UC Application


manny27 2 / 1  
Nov 25, 2011   #1
Prompt:

Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

My essay:

Before the wrestling season of my sophomore year came around, I had never been on a wrestling team and I had also never seen an actual wrestling match in person. Because of this, my only knowledge of wrestling came from what I had experienced through the television, and what I had learned when play fighting with my friends and family. However, this inexperience began to fade when my friends, who had been wresting for years before, began trying to convince me to join the school's wrestling team. After countless weeks of hearing about how my friends were anticipating the start of the new season and how much I would enjoy it, I was convinced that I wanted to join. I could almost feel the excitement that my friends shared as the new wrestling season approached exceedingly closer every day and I knew that it could be something I would grow to enjoy. A few weeks went by and before I knew it, I was in my school's gym on the first day of practice. Practice seemed like nothing more than a regular workout at first, as the coach was trying to welcome in new wrestlers and start teaching the team techniques. But, the hardest work was yet to come, because about a week or two into the season, the sessions of rigorous training and conditioning started. At first, it all seemed un-bearable to most including myself, with the coach constantly over us yelling "run harder, and don't give up," as we sprinted full speed across the mats. I can remember myself hunched over with my hands resting on my knees, my lungs heaving for air so that my muscles and blood could receive the needed oxygen. There were only two things on my mind when all of the vigorous training was taking place and they were that this was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, and that if I kept pushing it would be over soon. My first match came before I even knew it and was a huge upset to me. It was an easy win for the person I had to wrestle against because he had been wrestling since he was in middle-school and had a far greater amount of skill than me. Naturally, after the loss, I felt upset and embarrassed as if I let my opponent beat me due to my lack of skill. So, I did the only thing I could do to prevent myself from getting beaten my next match and that was practice even harder. The more I pushed myself to excel, no matter how hard it was, the easier practice became and the better I was doing at meets and tournaments. At the time, I didn't really think too much about how I had adapted to the hard training that my team was doing and how I had become a better wrestler, but now that I sit back and reflect on what was happening it is all apparent to me. The practices were not becoming easier because the coach was letting up on us, and I was not doing better in matches because the opponents were getting worse. But it was because I had conditioned myself so that every time that I felt like I couldn't go any further and every time that I lost and felt like I needed to be better next time, my mind and body pushed myself to train harder and become a stronger and more dedicated athlete. The two years that I spent on the wrestling team were very important in shaping the person that I am today. This is because those two years showed me that through dedication and hard work; even the toughest of things can be accomplished. They also showed me that dedication and hard work can also greatly improve my performance not only in sports, as an athlete, but in my academics and school, as a hard working student.

Any help weather it be with making it sound better or flow better, or making it more focused or on topic or just help of any kind would be greatly appreciated.
minijuey 4 / 7  
Nov 26, 2011   #2
The idea that you have is a bit cliche and im not sure that this experience really shows who you are. A story about the struggle of a new athlete coming in, losing, and then training to become even better is a story that is really overdone. I'm SURE that this experience WAS in fact very important and memorable to you, but for an essay like this, where thousands of students are going to write this one prompt, I wouldnt recommend it, unless you have something that stands out about this moment. Try to find an event that is unique and memorable that you feel really shows who you are, and also talk about what you learned from it in the long run.


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