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Undergraduate   Posts: 6

How to write an essay about Introduce myself ?


Yennguyen  
Aug 27, 2016   #1
My name is Yen. I was born and grew up in Daklak province.Now, I'm studying third year in industrial university of Ho Chi Minh City. My major is Electric Commerce.

There are four people in my family. My father is a farmer. My mother is a teacher, works in a small primary school near my house. I have just one brother older than me, he is a automatic engineer. I am a quite person, easy-going, optimistic and flexible to work. I can work for longer time, as long as, I'm interested in its.

I like music, reading books, walking and traveling.

Everyday, I usualy read book in the morning before I come to class. I love to read short stories about the life and friends. The name of book which I like best is "A liter of the tear".

I also love to travel, I wanna discovery the beauty of my country to learn more and more about culture and the local person.
I'm personally interested in becoming a Web Designer or SEO-er, however, there are many different career opportunities. I believe that a job should be like a hobby.

I think if I try best, I can reach my points and my dreams will come true.
It takes a long time to learn coding. It's so difficult and requires patience and hard work. Besides, I want to improve my English, and I'm glad to have when I learn

Web Designer.

As for now I'm forcusing specialized knowledge and practical experience.
it's so useful for me in the present and in the future.

Friend,
Check and correct this essay, please.
sinahector  
Aug 27, 2016   #2
Hi
I think by reducing the number of "I" you can represent fluency.
longer time=> for a long time
I'm interested in its => I'm interested in the subject
about the life and friends=> about life and friendship

Best regards
:)
hailun11 3  
Aug 28, 2016   #3
Hello Yenguyen
These are my some suggestions

Everyday, I usualyusually read book in the morning before I come tointo class. I love to readreadingsuch as short stories about which tell about the life and friendsthis is hard to understand what is look like?a matter of life and a circle of friends.The name of book which I like bestMy favorite book is "A liter of the tear"

(put conjunction to make your writing coherence)Furthermore I also love to traveltraveling , I wannawant tobetter you use formal writing for choosing words discovery the beauty of ...

I'm personally interested in becomingThe big ambitious is to become a Web Designer or SEO-er, however, there are many different career opportunities.(I think that is not appropriate with your sentence anyway) . So far, I believe that a job should be like a hobbyI assumed that a job was better if that related with our passion .

I think if I try bestI will try the best as long as I can , I can reach my points and my dreams will come truefor being realistic and cautious really .

please more pay attention about your writing, because you always use ''I'' in your paragraph. You can put conjunction for relate with other sentences (such as moreover, furthermore, then, however, etc). So, I think that's the best way to do it ^_^.

Happy writing !
Cheers
alfadmishal20  
Aug 28, 2016   #4
Hii yenn, here some suggest from me that you use later..I'll do my best

Now, I'm studying third year (three years ) in industrial university ...
My major is Electric Commerce.I studied management with specialization in electric commerce.

My father is a farmer while My mother is a teacher, she works in a small primary ...

I have just only have one brother older than mean older brother , he is an automatic engineer.

I can work for longer time...i can only work in long period of time as long as the job is interesting.

I likemy hobbies are listen to the music, reading ...
Faridadwi18 13  
Aug 28, 2016   #5
Hi yen,

- Now, I'm studying in the third year in industrial university ...
- There are four peoplemembers in my family. My father is a farmer and My mother is a teacher who works in a small primary school near by my house.

- Ionly have just one brother who older than me and he isworks asaan automatic engineer.
- I also love to travel, Iandwannawant to discovery the beauty of my (...) and more about the culture and the local person.
- ... time, as long as, I'm interested in its .

Hopefully it helps.
ashelarisa48 4  
Aug 28, 2016   #6
Hallo, here is my correction. Hope it helps..

Now, I'm studying in the third year in industrial ...

... older than me, he is anautomatic engineer.

Everyday, I usually read book in the morning before I come to the class. I love to read some short stories about ...

I wanna want to discovery discover the beauty of my ...

I think if I try best, I can will reach my points ...


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