I just finished my 5 essays for MIT. It's only four days away so I hope you guys can give me some ideas to fix my essays. I appreciate all your help.
Prompt 1: We know you lead a busy life, full of activities, many of which are required of you. Tell us about something you do for the pleasure of it. (100 words or fewer)
I like to spend my Sunday writing poems, especially those about the nature. In my poems I usually write about a world where people care about each other and all the children are happy to go to school. To me, writing poems is a challenge; each line seems to be journey I have to go through and making them meaningful is my goal. When I read my poems, I feel like living again my feelings and the past moments.
Prompt 2: Although you may not yet know what you want to major in, which department or program at MIT appeals to you and why? (100 words or fewer)
The department at MIT that appeals to me is Biological Engineering. Having a rough childhood struggled with disability, I learned that disabled people are easily discouraged by mean words of the others even though they have will to be successful. I also noticed that they will be much confident if they feel looking like normal people so I've always dreamed of creating devices to cover part of our physical appearances. An admission to the department of a prestigious engineering school like MIT will be an opportunity for me to get access to the latest technology and to study from good professors in order to achieve my dream.
Prompt 3: What attribute of your personality are you most proud of, and how has it impacted your life so far? (200-250)
I remember a quote: "where there is a will, there is a way". When I think about the hardship I went through, I realize my whole life is about finding what learning style that works for me. Born with a severely distorted arm, I was considered to be useless by the others but I didn't give up my will to be successful. Instead of seeking help, I decided to fight to change my conditions by developing a personality that I am most proud of: my perseverance.
I always strive to improve myself to be perfect. I work hard every day and constantly challenge myself by taking the hardest classes. There are many times I receive bad grades because I refuse to get extra time. But I didn't give up and chose to endure the disadvantage as a way to prove that I'm not different from the others. Having a short-term memory issues, I hardly catch up with my friends so I learn all the lectures ahead whenever I have free time. By doing that, I am able to understand what my teachers teach and finish my tests faster. The perseverance also taught me to maintain a positive attitude, to smile even when everybody laughed at my body and to turn unkind words toward me into fuel that power my nights of hard work and studying. Even though the way to success is full of challenges, I don't intend to stop until I achieve my goal of becoming a prosthetic engineer.
Prompt 5:Prompt: Tell us about the most significant challenge you've faced or something important that didn't go according to plan. How did you manage the situation? (200-250)
After teaching the students from a public school, I found that the hardest challenge in helping the others is to get their attention. I still remember my first day of teaching when I left my class feeling so hopeless. No matter what I said, all I received was a total ignorance and disrespectful behavior from my students. I realize that as long as I could not get them to follow my instruction, I was not going to make any difference.
So before any of my classes, I always tried to invent a method that helps me to get their attention. Instead of patronizing them with formulas, I created math competition in which the boys will compete with the girls and rewarded the winning team with a bag of candies. When I started the games, I noticed that the kids actually began to engage and have fun. To my surprise, once I got their attention and their interest in studying, everything became easier. I also created some problems that required them to think until they asked for my help. That's when I turned from game to lecture but I didn't immediately give them the answer. Instead, I asked questions that my students had to answer in order to get the solutions.
It didn't take so long for kids from other classes to ask me to join. The growing number of students required me to invent more games and bring more candies. But it was worthy since I began to enjoy teaching and I felt like I was really making a difference not only to my students but also to myself when I find a way to overcome the challenge.
I can't find many errors! You have some great ideas.
Here are a few corrections:
...realize my whole life is about finding what learning style that works for me. Born with a severely distorted arm, I was considered to be useless by the others, but I didn't give ...
Having a short-term memory issues, I hardly catch up with my ...
... to smile even when everybody laughed laughs at my body and to turn
After teaching the students from a public school, I found that the hardest challenge in helping the others is to get their attention. ---Well said!! I agree...
