Writing my personal statement on moving states and finding myself

The statement of purpose for UT admission

Prompt:
The statement of purpose will provide an opportunity to explain any extenuating circumstances that you feel could add value to your application. You may also want to explain unique aspects of your academic background or valued experiences you may have had that relate to your academic discipline. The statement of purpose is not meant to be a listing of accomplishments in high school or a record of your participation in school-related activities. Rather, this is your opportunity to address the admissions committee directly and to let us know more about you as an individual, in a manner that your transcripts and other application information cannot convey.

Start of essay:

Ending high school without having applied to any universities left me in a state of despair. I did not want to find myself only able to go to a community college without a plan for a university. While most of my high school friends were starting a new chapter of their lives in education, I was moving to a new state with my family and feeling misplaced.

In high school, I took AP Physics and it really helped to pique my interest. While doing an independent research project, I came across a video where a physicist discussed his research and how he got to where he was. With my passion for math and science already present, this helped inspire me to pursue this as a career. I wanted to continue on after getting a bachelors in physics and do research that could prove useful to others. I loved learning and having a career in physics meant I will always be learning new information to apply to my research. Upon arriving in Texas, I began attending Austin Community College with physics as my declared major.

I wasn't sure if I had made the right choice or if I would ever continue my education, but I kept reminding myself of where I wanted to be. Arriving in Texas, I had no friends to talk to and stayed at home most of the until I managed to get a job at a coffee shop. With work and school taking up most of my time, I was getting worn out and feeling like this was not where I wanted to stay. I felt lost like I was going nowhere.

This changed when at work a man came in to the coffee shop do his work. I noticed him working on something math related and asked him about it. It turns out he was doing postdoctoral research at the University of Texas at Austin. Knowing that I had wanted to do research myself later in life I asked him about his path to get there and he had gone through a similar path of starting at a community college. Hearing that he had started at a community college reassured me that there was a purpose to what I was doing.

One thing he stated that influenced my decision on wanting to go to UT was that research was highly encouraged. One of my personal goals was to have the opportunity to complete undergrad research. To me, what sets UT apart from other colleges is their extensive research opportunities with professors conducting research in numerous areas. Having done an independent research project in AP Physics on the formation of blackholes, I knew I wanted to later conduct research myself and feel that UT will provide a platform for me to be able to do this.

Leaving California, I knew my goal but was unclear on how I was going to achieve it. However, after being at ACC I have furthered my passion for physics and met other like-minded individuals. Staying after class and talking with my professor about what was to come helped prepare me for future classes as well as encourage me to continue in my studies. All of this has prepared me and given me anticipation for what lies in store at UT. I feel that with the opportunities that UT has to offer I will not only meet my goal but surpass it.

Try to make this essay stronger by explaining what research path you wish to take. If it is laboratory research, will be based on biological, chemical, or physics? Once you figure that out, try to give the reviewer an idea of what topic you may want to do research in and why. Then explain why you chose to apply at the university. Base the purpose on what your chosen research is, the ability of the university to help you begin preliminary research, and what you hope the end result will be. The other essay prompts will not allow you delve as deeply into convincing the reviewer that you will make a good student at the university based on your academic objectives. The statement of purpose will allow you to do that. The story about the man in the cafeteria isn't relevant to your essay. Try to impress the reviewer with your potential to be a remarkable researcher instead.