What do you and XYZ university have in common?(250-350 words)

XYZ University: sports, concerts, fraternity parties are the obvious impetuses to the school's chummy ambience.

Follow the Big Picture & Dare to take risks

Besides XYZ's extracurricular idiosyncrasies, an eye-catching citation on the website- 'Inclusion is the tie that binds XYZ'- urged me to ponder upon the entire principles very earnestly. Those doctrines resonated with the societal ethics of my nation-brimming with diversity- and furthered my proximity with XYZ's modest entourage. I visualized buddying up with the fellow Greeks and venturing into philanthropic errands, in common with my rituals at Red Cross Society which fostered my leadership and camaraderie, not to mention the broadening of my life's philosophy.

As Gary Player, a professional golfer, once said "The more I practice, the luckier I get.", I find XYZ's Mountain Hawks(athletes) as much dedicated to boost their athleticism to another level, via rigorous rehearsals and drills, as I. The single-mindedness of the hawks to elevate team-spirit, sportsmanship, and commitment accompanied with athletes' self-gratification and extension of sporting capabilities is what I've been employing throughout my athletic career as the Central Defender of my district's as well as my school's men's soccer team.

XYZ embraces an unorthodox ideology when it comes to making our society a better place. The legacy left behind by the idealists reinforces my ambition. I want to keep that legacy alive, not only for the forthcoming 'engineers' or for the réclame of XYZ's grandiosity in Science & Engineering, but also for the commemoration of fairy godparents-Sir Packer and the Presidents, because I believe in what they believed in: Follow the Big Picture & Dare to take risks. The inauguration of Nepal's industrial acclivity happened at my hometown,Biratnagar, which consociates my existence with the commercial takeoff of my nation. Likewise, XYZ too shares a substantial consanguinity with the genesis of mercantile America. These asynchronous, but noteworthy parallels between I & XYZ animates theHawk, deep inside me, with a vivid projection of the breakthroughs I can create with the backing of XYZ's top-notch engineering facilities. Ergo, XYZ University's reputation for academic excellence, appealing location, global prestige, familial community environment entices me to seek acceptance to the university.

Somehow, your essay is quite difficult to be understood. I can see that the prompt is actually quite simple. You just need to mention and explain about what you and XYZ university have in common, but why did you come up with lots of unnecessary details that were not straightforward and somehow a bit jumpy. For me, I think that this was not a recommended response to answer this type of question. Thus, my suggestion is that it is better for you to directly state the answer briefly in the beginning of your answer and elaborate / explain the details afterwards. You can emphasize several important details that you think can enhance your personal quality. This can be possible to be considered as well-developed and straightforward response. However, if you still think that adding those 'unnecessary' details are needed. I reckon that you can sum the information from those two paragraphs into one well-developed paragraph. Then, add one more paragraph after the 'current' last paragraph the information about the common things that you and XYZ university have.

@ichanpants89 @Holt
Give me some suggestions, what could an International Student have in common with an american college that would fill the requirement of 350 words, w/o an aesthetic approach to the prompt ?

Thanks.

Sushant, here is the thing, you should be writing a straightforward comparison essay of the commonalities between you and the university that you have chosen to apply to. This is an introspective essay. It asks you to examine your own thoughts and feelings in relation to the mission, vision, and objectives of the university that you are applying to. The commonalities between the two will come from the way that you share some ideologies with the school.

Maybe some shared objectives in terms of education and learning processes also exist for you and the department you have applied to. You could even consider some socio-civic interests as represented by the campus clubs, organizations, training programs, or internships that inspire you to build upon your past or current experiences that stem from your current interests, both academic and social.

You don't need the aesthetic approach if you can find the more basic or unique commonalities between you and the university. The only extra work you have to do in order to complete this essay is to look more into the background of the school. Go beyond the flash and pageantry of the website to get to the core principles, values, and objectives of the university. That is where you should look for the commonalities between the two of you.