Yale Essay - How COVID-19 helped me manifest a dream

Hi people! I am applying to yale and several other universities. I wanted to get my essay proofread, any suggestions, ideas will work. Thank you!

no greater joy than helping others

I have always fancied becoming an entrepreneur. The mere idea of helping others through my work puts me in a state of sheer excitement. This dream of mine manifested itself in May 2020 when COVID-19 was on the rise and hand-sanitizers were in great demand.

Owing to the increased demand, the production of hand-sanitizers reached a point where the local-industry could no longer sustain it. Besides that, the Government had also capped the prices of hand-sanitizers below the minimum retail price.

Pharmaceutical companies were facing several challenges ranging from the increased cost of inputs to lower selling margins. Desperate for some revenue, the market grew fraudulent and started adding illicit chemicals like methanol, which was not only inexpensive but also declared toxic by the FDA.

My father narrated me the "Sanitizer-Saga" as he was himself manufacturing hand-sanitizers but had to incur losses as he was selling officially sanctioned, export-grade hand-sanitizers making them relatively costlier. The unawareness of consumers and the profound cupidity that reigned in the market stunned me. The entire issue also made little sense to me as things were working in the opposite direction.

I concluded there were several challenges, and it was time to satisfy a long-desired dream. I resolved to sell hand-sanitizers with the help of my dad, my main impetus being never to compromise quality for quantity. Next, I assembled a team of three friends, and together, we ventured out into the unknown.

I managed the creative side of our business as I designed the graphics that also included the labeling of our products, moreover did all the copywriting work as well. I was also responsible for collecting samples, passing on the orders, and delivering consignments.

After finalizing everything, we made a list of potential clients who would buy from us in bulk and distributed the phone calls equally. I explained how our product was toxic-free and has an export-quality rating but got laughed at for quoting a high price. It was not a month before persistingly cold calling prospects and desperately pivoting our strategies when our persistence bore fruit as we received a green light from a vendor who decided to meet us.

We presented him our samples; after some negotiations, we received an order of 500 units worth $800, which duly shipped. Sure, that was exhilarating, but knowing that people will consume a quality product rather than a toxic one made me even happier. The vendor told us that customers liked our hand-sanitizers and gave us a repeat-order, but we had to call off the project by then because dad had limited the production of sanitizers, thus, we could no longer benefit from his economies of scale.

I believed in my product; I knew I could have helped more people. The fact that I could no longer continue made me feel helpless. I expressed the same to my family, to which they asked me, "What if you never started?"

The question was so ordinary yet so profound it took my anxiety away. If I had never started, the people who eventually bought our product would have settled for a cheaper, perhaps noxious product.

Above everything else, in a country of 1.3 billion people, I did not let the quality of hand-sanitizers be a matter of concern for at least 500. I felt appreciated because my existence could - at least moderately - improve the quality of a few people's lives.

Over time, I have realized that there is no greater joy than helping others. On a planet where suffering precedes happiness, it is better to change things for the better than make things for the worse.

Hi there
Although is a good story, I think you are narrowing your essay too much on that single one experience. You can work on summarizing the first 5 paragraphs since the reader's attention can get lost easily on those. Try to be more straight and be more specific to the challenges you faced and how you overcome them. By the way, is good that you were specific on your results, in terms of units and prices.

I'm not so sure about what are the requirements that Yale asks for the essay. You should check at them. However, usually, a little bit more background information about yourself is appreciated.

Hope this is somehow useful for you.

Hi, It is difficult to review this essay because there are several essays that Yale requires their students to present. I believe you are presenting one of the longer essay discussion points. The problem is that you did not provide the specific prompt you are responding to, so I am unable to truly review this paper for content. Proofreading is an additional paid service at this site which is done privately. Only a general review of your essay regarding content would be possible at this time. However, the lack of review instructions, as represented by the missing prompt requirement prevents me from doing that. Yale essays require targeted reviews and analysis, so just writing and asking me to proofread you paper will not be useful to you unless I know what you are supposed to be writing about.