Johns Hopkins offers 50 majors across the schools of Arts and Sciences and Engineering. On this application, we ask you to identify one or two that you might like to pursue here. Why did you choose the way you did?
When I was young, I wanted to be an Egyptologist. I remember picking up my mother's book on the ancient civilization and falling in awe with the mummies. That's what started it all: a mummy. I could not understand how bodies could be preserved to withstand thousands of years of elemental antagonism, or how a people so far removed from modern technological and medicinal breakthroughs could have carried out such an incredible feat. In my young mind, it was magical.
Over the years, my desire to be an Egyptologist faded, though my fascination with human anatomy did not; it grew, fueled by my aging grandparents and their frequent hospital visits. At one point, I could have walked the halls of our local hospital blindfolded; I knew it that well. It was the hospital visits that drew me to science. I began to observe the staff work, as well as the patients they worked on, and began to wonder how it was possible, just as I had with the mummies. I was older then and understood some science, but it was not until I began to take true science courses that it all began to fit together in biology and chemistry. I loved these subjects immediately. They drew me in and refused to let me go (not that I would ever want them to). Through these majors, I want to learn of the How and Why of our bodies. Most importantly, like the ancient Egyptians, I want to help preserve life.
It's a very short and sweet essay. All suggestions are so very appreciated
"It was the hospital visits that drew me to science." Is this a program ? I think you should explain why you have so many visits.
"I began to observe the staff work, as well as the patients they worked on, and began to wonder how it was possible, just as I had with the mummies." You should explain which part of work that you fascinate the most instead of using a vague term "work".
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I like the idea, and I think that your progression from Egyptology to anatomy is the right way to go. But, you're second paragraph, as a whole, is a bit sporadic and you don't seem to develop, or convey, your passion for biochemistry. I think that you could remove some of the excess discussion of the hospital experience, and focus more on the development of your interest in bio and chem in the classroom. I think that this would be a more relevant addition to your topic.
I hope this helps!
I was referencing the hospital visits made because of my ailing grandparents:
fueled by my aging grandparents and their frequent hospital visits.
I see what you mean with "work". thank you
The problem lies in the length of the essay-- only 250 words. I will try to cut out some unecessary parts and elabrate a bit on my attraction to biochem.
I think that the reference to your grandparents and the hospital is cool, I just think that some of the following sentences related to the hospital experience could be trimmed down. I say this because as I was reading, my focus shifted to the hospital experience and I found it difficult to identify your passion for the particular majors you chose. In other words, the focal point of your essay became the hospital, more so than bio and chem. Notice, you only directly reference the MAJORS at Hopkins in two sentences.
I entirely understand. I made appropriate corrections. Thank you very much for your help
No problem! I'm glad I could help.
