I'm much younger than everybody in my class; Edison state college adm. essay

why did you choose to apply to UCF?

I'm duel enrolling at Edison state college right now, I was excited to just be in college classes at first but then once I started I knew that it was not where I want to be. First of all I'm much younger than everybody in my class and I know at such a large campus like UCF, there's way more of a chance that I'm going to be in class around people I can relate to. Plus it still feels like I'm just going to class at my high school every time I step on campus at Edison, and one things for sure at whatever college I end up going to I do not want it to feel like I'm stuck in high school for another 4 years. Which is why I think I love UCF so much because when I visit there it feels different from anywhere else I've ever been, it feels like it's where I'm suppose to be and I could stay in Orlando after I graduate from college to pursue my career. I decided along time ago on the majors I'm interested in and I feel that UCF is where I will be able to make my dreams of becoming a teacher a reality.

Cool. Now write an essay about it. By the way, in your essay, I wouldn't diss edison state because it doesn't answer the question at hand. You want to go to UCF because there are people you can realte to there? Wow, this just shows your lack of tolerance for different people. Your only valid point here is that UCF will further your dreams of becoming a teacher. Expand on that.

Hmmm... I think there's a way to spin this so that you can be honest without seeming to disrespect Edison State or its students. Essentially, what you're saying is that, after a year at a college, you feel that a university would be better suited to your goals. Also, you hope to broaden your horizons, which you are not able to do at Edison, where so many of the students are those with whom you attended high school. At the University, in contrast, you hope to encounter a much more diverse array of people.

thanks that helped alot! im gonna right it over, then post it on here and see if it gets any better. i didnt mean to diss edison so bad haha..