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"Being the youngest presented many choices" - UC prompt #1


mizzheerazz 1 / -  
Nov 27, 2010   #1
Hi everyone! I feel like I am taking a risk using this metaphor, and not straightforward in my writing. I understand I should be clear to the reader. I would appreciate any suggestions. Thanks!!!

PS (*) means new paragraph
Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

*My family is a quilt: various geometric shapes and colors stitched together to form a whole. We each bring diversity with our different personalities and interests. I am the last color to be added into the growing quilt. After analyzing the current status of the design, I delicately stitch my thread through the empty spots on the fabric to amplify its vibrant appearance. I am the youngest of three daughters, being six years younger than the sister closest in age to me, and eight years younger than my oldest sister.

*The result of this huge age difference has led to many outcomes. It has forced me to mature more quickly than most, certainly more quickly than my sisters did, for I am always around adults. Nonetheless, I am always referred to as the "baby" of the family and considered incapable of doing things. For instance, growing up, I have always been reminded to take a shower, to make my bed, and to do my homework by not only my parents, but my sisters as well. I felt as if I was not gaining autonomy and I responded to them by saying, "I know!" because I did not want to become dependent upon their constant reminders. Although sometimes I wanted to rebel against their demands, I began to appreciate and established balance between their authoritative demeanor and my need for independence by following the symmetry and culture of their sown patches.

*When I was younger, my sisters' bold qualities made me shy around them and our age gap led to differing schedules and the lack of communication with each other. However, I still can feed off of their experiences. Any slips my older sisters made gave my parents more experience with such situations many years before I was to make them. Correspondingly, it allowed me to make my own decisions about enrolling into diverse extracurricular activities from dancing to volunteering. For that reason, I have been able to further build on my desire to not limit myself to what is presented to me, but to value and explore the world. I wish to continue spending my time amidst a new group of people, traveling to new settings, learning new cultures and studying abroad. This new perception initiated the formation of my distinct design and pattern as I cultivated the quilt.

*In addition, being the youngest presented many choices where I had to improvise around the existing patches to build my own personality. My supportive family members always gave me advice through their own experience to guide me towards success. Due to their caring guidance, I return their love to the community. Because I can empathize with people, I take pleasure in communicating with people and giving them suggestions so they do not go towards the wrong path. I wish to assist individuals with my positive energy since many did not have the same advantage as I did. Likewise, I plan to share and blend my culture with any community.

*After eloquently braiding and tying the existing hues together, I have formed my individual strand. Overtime, I learned to absorb family values while stitching my unique patches onto the quilt. I have transformed into a hardy individual ready to pursue a degree in psychology. I certainly enjoy attaching the last color to complete the masterpiece, for I feel that it has given me a foundation that's been crucial to my growing up.
gaodagg 1 / 2  
Nov 28, 2010   #2
*My family is a quilt: various geometric shapes and colors stitched together to form a whole. We each bring diversity with our different personalities and interests. I am the last color to be added into the growing quilt. After analyzing the current status of the design, I delicately stitch my thread through the empty spots on the fabric to amplify its vibrant appearance. I am the youngest of three daughters, being six years younger than the sister closest in age to me, and eight years younger than my oldest sister. Maybe redundant?
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Dec 11, 2010   #3
Let's make it more efficient here:
The result of this huge age difference has led to many outcomes. It has forced me to mature more quickly than ...

I like this sentence, a lot, but I will add a comma to it:
I felt as if I was not gaining autonomy, and I responded to them by saying, "I know!" because I did not want to become dependent upon their constant reminders.

My supportive family members always gave me advice through their own experience to guide me towards success. ---I think you mean to say "advice based on their own experience"

Due to their caring guidance, I return learned to share their love to the community.

Over time, I learned ... 2 words. As a single word, overtime refers to hours worked in addition to scheduled hours.

to absorb family values while stitching my unique patches onto the quilt. ----great theme!


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