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"Youth Leadership Forum on Medicine" - Interest in studying @Georgetown Essay?


jinniebear 1 / 1  
Dec 19, 2010   #1
Writing is by far my biggest weakness, and I'd appreciate any helpful criticism! Thanks!

PROMPT: Please relate your interest in studying at Georgetown University to your goals. How do these thoughts relate to your chosen course of study?

It seems as if Georgetown University has been beckoning me since the day of my birth: my mother delivered me in Georgetown University Hospital, my late grandmother was treated for skin cancer in Lombardi Cancer Center, and my cousin, who was born prematurely at one pound three ounces, was incubated in Georgetown's neonatal intensive care unit.

Being familiar with this highly reputable institution as well as possessing an interest in biology, I decided to participate in National Youth Leadership Forum on Medicine at Georgetown during the summer of 2008; through this remarkable experience, I encountered intelligent and distinct individuals from all over the world, designed a Public Health Project to manage weight problems in today's young adult population, viewed a live knee replacement surgery, and played the role of a doctor in a disaster triage simulation. During these two weeks I spent on campus, I not only fell head over heels for the campus' breath-taking architecture, urban location, and quality of student life, but also bolstered my desire to enroll as a neurobiology major at Georgetown.

How do we distinguish between good and evil? Where are memories stored? What gives us the ability to breathe, move, and speak? The brain's salmon-colored mysteries combined with its vital importance to life have become the object of my interest over the years; I was first pulled in by a children's science book and have been hooked ever since. I still can name the labeled cross-section of a human head, which became a day-to-day fixation of the fourth grade Sarah Kang. As I grew older, I pored over biographies of Dr. Benjamin Carson, the first neurosurgeon to successfully separate a pair of Siamese twins, and conducted personal research about the brain through late-night internet searches and interrogations of my two neurosurgeon second-cousins. However, given no opportunities to study neurobiology as a high school student, I hope to fully satisfy my curiosities about the brain at Georgetown. As a "student-centered research university" with systems and cognitive laboratories in addition to the new Science Center scheduled for completion in 2012, the quality of education Georgetown University offers will build a strong foundation in neuroscience and steer me in the right direction toward success in my future endeavors in the medical field.
iamesthere 4 / 15  
Dec 19, 2010   #2
I thought your essay was well-written and that you answered the prompt right on. Although I think you can include something more about something unique/that stands out to you about Georgetown, like why you would choose to major in neuroscience in Georgetown rather than like Hopkins or something..

But overall, good essay!

Some corrections:
1) I decided to participate in National Youth Leadership Forum on Medicine
Just to make it proper, you should add "The" in front of National
2)encountered intelligent and distinct individuals from all over the world
You can change "distinct" to distinctive", since your stating an adjective

Please check out my essay also called: "My Ice Cream Shop" Thank you!
OP jinniebear 1 / 1  
Dec 19, 2010   #3
Thank you! : )
I will read your essay.
iamesthere 4 / 15  
Dec 19, 2010   #4
I'm sorry would you be able to read Mint Chocolate Chip ICE CREAM essay rather than the other one. Thank you! and no problem! Good luck!


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