Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 2


"Zip-lining in Ecuador" - USC Transfer Essay


urbanoutfitters 4 / 8  
Jan 29, 2010   #1
Any comments or suggestions is greatly appreciated!

USC's speaker series "What Matters to Me and Why" asks faculty and staff to reflect on their values, beliefs, and motivations. Presenters talk about choices they have made, difficulties encountered, and commitments solidified. Write an essay about an event or experience that helped you learn what is important to you and why it is important.

I was raised in Jakarta, Indonesia, but I really grew up all over the world. From a young age, my parents have always encouraged me to travel and explore the world. I find traveling to be an exciting adventure, where anything can happen. I have discovered how important it is to face challenges and live my life to the fullest through my travels, and conquered my fears along the way, as being somewhere new is like delving into the unknown.

Recently, I represented my college in the National Model United Nations competition in Quito, Ecuador. We debated on global issues while also taking part in cultural exchanges, such as visiting the serene, green mountains of Mindo. We hiked through the tropical jungle to the top, where a challenge awaited us. The only way back to our van relied on a single rope across the mountains. Shivers went through my body as I learned we were to zip-line across the mountains, avoiding glancing down towards the endless green landscape below. I was deathly terrified of heights and tried hard not to think about falling. My classmates one by one confidently zip-lined across the mountains, and soon I was the last to go.

At first I didn't want to do it. Then I decided to try, but held the rope too tight and didn't move from the edge. Sweat trickled down my face. I took a deep breath and said to myself, "You have to face this fear someday, right?" I closed my eyes and held on the rope, then slowly let it go. Soon I started zip-lining between two mountains at high-speed and I opened my eyes. It was the most exhilarating feeling with the wind gusting on my face as I took in the breathtaking view around me.

It was in that moment it dawned on me how far I've come since moving to America a year ago. I have realized life is full of choices, I can take the risk and challenge myself, or I can stand aside and watch my life pass by. Taking control in my life has motivated me to chase my dreams, even if it means moving to a completely new environment. Interning in Washington, DC last summer to advocate for better environmental policies was a big step that I took towards achieving my goals. My responsibility as a legislative intern in Environment America involved researching, lobbying and campaigning for better transportation policies that would improve overall community life. My efforts led to the Capitol Building steps, where we anxiously awaited the voting results of the Climate Change bill. Celebration filled the air as the bill passed, making it the first most comprehensive climate change policy ever considered and passed by Congress. I would not have been able to be a part of and experience that groundbreaking moment in American history, had I not taken the chance and stepped outside of my comfort zone.

Success does not come easily, as it involves taking risks, being open to changes and overcoming obstacles. As a risk-taker, I'm confident in my ability to face challenges in the future in areas about which I'm passionate. Whenever I feel in doubt, I remember seeing the endless landscape of Mindo and the breeze blowing on my face as I zip-line across the mountains. Confidence grows inside me as I walk forward.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Jan 31, 2010   #2
This is the part that I think needs something more:
... along the way, as being somewhere new is like delving into the unknown.----- This is a great build up to segue into a memorable thesis statement at the end of the first paragraph, so add one more sentence. This sentence is too long to linger in the reader's mind. write a short sentence after this, before ending the paragraph.

Also the last paragraph: You gave great descriptions of the experience, but... say specifically what is important to you during that last paragraph.

I'm confident in my ability to face challenges in the future in areas associated with causes about which I'm passionate.


Home / Undergraduate / "Zip-lining in Ecuador" - USC Transfer Essay
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳