|Home / Writing Feedback [23,264] - page 137 of 388|
|Competition will alter the survive skills, which are absolutely important in human life. IELTS
3 - Hi Pey, I see that your introductory paragraph did not have any stance. Clear stance in the beginning is...
Writing FeedbackPey28 - Jan 27, 2016 / ichanpants89 - Jan 27, 2016
|The air circulation in an accommodation, which affect room temperature and energy spent
4 - The diagram explainS about the air circulation in an accommodation HOUSE, which affectS THE room temperature and energy...
Writing FeedbackRiiskacha03 - Jan 27, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 27, 2016
|By undergoing two different types of experience, children know how to be a better person
2 - Hi there! Overall, this is a great essay with clear direction and well-expressed ideas. There are some mistakes however,...
Writing Feedbackamrillahmk31 - Jan 27, 2016 / puykcyt - Jan 27, 2016
|The cause of increasing violent crime among youth generation
2 - Desy, you have argued this prompt in a highly informative manner. Your approach to the discussion is by far,...
Writing Feedbackdesgit33 - Jan 27, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 27, 2016
|IELTS TASK 1 : THE ESSENTIAL SKILL IN JOB AS PER SURVEY
4 - Overall, it can be analyzed use analyse instead,cause that is british that ... ... selling a product, persuading...
Writing FeedbackMardy17 - Jan 20, 2016 / amrillahmk31 - Jan 27, 2016
|Own business has more benefits for inhabitants as people can determine their own effort
3 - 1st paragraph ... be bankrupt and lack of fund they need to start a business... 2nd paragraph ......
Writing Feedbackilankelo21 - Jan 27, 2016 / Wanderson120 - Jan 27, 2016
|There is nothing more important than your satisfaction from work
NEW - TOPIC: Some people say that job satisfaction is more important than money when it comes to selecting a career....
Writing Feedbacksamuel830209 - Jan 27, 2016 / — -
|Children's sense of rivalry should be stimulated
NEW - Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who taught...
Writing Feedbackerin24 - Jan 27, 2016 / — -
|GRE - two different views from the extintion of blompus
2 - the extintion of blompus, an large, (do not use comma here) carnivorous land mammal. because first humans was not...
Writing FeedbackAlbertino - Jan 26, 2016 / Riiskacha03 - Jan 27, 2016
|A lot of cultures worldwide obligate married women to stay at home to look after the children
3 - the discussion presented mentions you having three reasons... Firstly, a working wife will give the family more financial security...
Writing Feedbackdavid2708 - Jan 26, 2016 / pao123 - Jan 27, 2016
|IELTS Task 1 - the happiness rate of American based on their marriage status
3 - HI Aflah let me give you another form in your introduction. The bar charts illustrate the SURVEY OF...
Writing Feedbackaflah15 - Jan 26, 2016 / ilankelo21 - Jan 26, 2016
|Career Center Website Exploration
3 - No but it just require 2 pages, but no max limit. Also, that job position literally called "Career center",...
Writing Feedbackiceunicorna - Jan 26, 2016 / iceunicorna - Jan 26, 2016
|Some people think that advertising enhances the sales of a product that are unnecessarily needed.
2 - Reem, there are number of problems with your essay that have mostly to do with the way that you...
Writing Feedbacklolly pop - Jan 26, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 26, 2016
|I believe that the knowledge that I have acquired from my experiences is more important - TOEFL
4 - sSo, we are not looking at any problem in logical thinking, reasoning, or sentence development. What we do have...
Writing FeedbackNourNour - Jan 26, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 26, 2016
|Genetic modification is now being used to improve trees - TOEFL TPO21
5 - hi, vangiespen Thanks for alert me that i can't keep using semicolons to separate sentences. I thought it...
Writing FeedbackAYCC - Jan 26, 2016 / AYCC - Jan 26, 2016
|Two Ways to Fill The Irrigation Channel-The Diagrams
2 - ... two ways to fill the AN irrigation channel. At first glance, the SWING BASKET methods of filling...
Writing FeedbackFebri91 - Jan 26, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 26, 2016
|THE WIND TURBINE - the structure and process of generating electricity - IELTS TASK 1
2 - ...it can be seen that a turbine IS structured by some essential equipment.. ...adjust the rotation of blades which...
Writing FeedbackMardy17 - Jan 26, 2016 / aflah15 - Jan 26, 2016
|The bar charts present the rating of happiness level of residents aged 18 to over 65
2 - ... the married people is found ARE happier than the unmarried,.. ...in the 30-49 and 65 and over...
Writing FeedbackRiiskacha03 - Jan 26, 2016 / aflah15 - Jan 26, 2016
|IELTS TASK 2 : Entrepreneur or worker? What are the benefits and the drawbacks of it?
3 - Hi ichatea07, Let me correct your writing. In today's world, economical needs hashave been people's priority to survive...
Writing Feedbackichatea07 - Jan 26, 2016 / Febri91 - Jan 26, 2016
|Greed and Unsafe of Global Economic
Writing Feedbacksholihin84 - Jan 23, 2016 / sholihin84 - Jan 26, 2016
|IELTS TASK1 proportion of happiness pace for married and unmarried American-inhabitants
3 - ... of THE proportion of happiness pace for married and unmarried American-inhabitants COUPLES ... children towards the...
Writing Feedbackilankelo21 - Jan 26, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 26, 2016
|Media Broadcast Too Much of Popular People : Agree or Disagree
2 - Sri, your essay has a confusing opening statement, the thesis is hard to decipher, and the whole essay in...
Writing Feedbacknuni11 - Jan 26, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 26, 2016
|In contemporary society, obesity has become a modern epidemic
3 - This is my first time to post writing on the website and unexpectedly got a valuable feedback. I am...
Writing Feedbackkay25 - Jan 25, 2016 / kay25 - Jan 26, 2016
|As it is commonly understood, people behave towards each other differently depending on situation.
Writing Feedbackmehdi_gh7022 - Jan 25, 2016 / mehdi_gh7022 - Jan 26, 2016
|IELTS: an effect of possessing children and level of happiness
2 - Please do not use the term "Possess" when describing people who have children. Parents do not own children because...
Writing Feedbackawe_28 - Jan 26, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 26, 2016
|IELTS TASK 1: process of a wind turbine and its locations
2 - ... that are categorised CATEGORIZED into ... It is noticable NOTICEABLE that a... three fibreglass FIBERGLASS...
Writing Feedbackichatea07 - Jan 25, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 25, 2016
|I am inclined to oppose constructing a factory in my near community - TOEFL independent essay
2 - Nour, 300 is the maximum word count. You don't have to deliver exactly 300 words in every essay. Just...
Writing FeedbackNourNour - Jan 25, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 25, 2016
|The parts of the technology for producing electricity from the wind and where it should be installed
2 - ... According to the diagram, a wind turbine consistS of a tall and strong steel tower, ... a wind...
Writing FeedbackRiiskacha03 - Jan 25, 2016 / Mardy17 - Jan 25, 2016
|IELTS TASK 1 - ENERGY WASTED DUE TO THE HEAT LOSS IN TWO-STOREY HOUSE
2 - ... about air circulation which causes energy wasted due toBECAUSE/SINCE/AS the heat loss in THE two-storey house. Hi Awe,...
Writing Feedbackawe_28 - Jan 25, 2016 / Mardy17 - Jan 25, 2016
|Should the development of alternative sources of energy be continued ? Support your view
3 - Thank you very much, Louisa...I really appreciate your comments on my essay. I am glad that the content is...
Writing Feedbackdavid2708 - Jan 25, 2016 / david2708 - Jan 25, 2016
|The press should report the residents life who have some inspired story, not some celebrities rumors
5 - These days there are too much news of how artists life their days ---------->Nowadays, there many news about...
Writing FeedbackRiiskacha03 - Jan 21, 2016 / NourNour - Jan 25, 2016
|IELTS TASK 2 - A Sense of Competition Should be Encouraged to Children
2 - Muhamad, why did you only provide your introduction and your conclusion? How were you able to come up with...
Writing Feedbackfijarakbar25 - Jan 25, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 25, 2016
|IELTS TASK 2: The advantages of having own business outweigh the disadvantages
2 - Siti, you did some pretty good work on this essay. The vocabulary you used shows a higher level of...
Writing Feedbackaflah15 - Jan 25, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 25, 2016
|'build up close relation to others' - The Effect of Electronic Media on Personal Relationship
4 - Sri, your thesis statement and personal opinion have totally changed the discussion that the actual prompt wished you to...
Writing Feedbacknuni11 - Jan 25, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 25, 2016
|IELTS Task 2 : EMPLOYEE OR EMPLOYER - being an owner of some personal business is worth to consider
2 - Hey Mardy17, I found this sentence a bit awkward. Otherwise, everything else is pretty solid. For illustrate, when...
Writing FeedbackMardy17 - Jan 25, 2016 / Ethanchen1998 - Jan 25, 2016
|TASK 2 - A discussion about Sense of Competition and Sense of Cooperation
2 - Mochtar, you are short by one paragraph / opinion in this essay. You presented a qualified introduction, then presented...
Writing Feedbackichanpants89 - Jan 25, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 25, 2016
|IELTS TASK1 a wind turbine used to generate electricity
3 - Muhammad, if the first sentence in this essay is your opening statement that you have not followed the proper...
Writing Feedbackilankelo21 - Jan 25, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 25, 2016
|IELTS TASK 1 : Leaking in and out of air inside a house
NEW - The figure displays air circulation either it comes in or comes out of a 2-floor house through various holes...
Writing Feedbackichatea07 - Jan 25, 2016 / — -
|Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Smoking should be illegal.
5 - I hope that in a few years people will understand that smoking has many more bad sides than good....
Writing Feedbackgenteel gander - Jan 23, 2016 / iceunicorna - Jan 24, 2016
|A good neighbor must be respectful and thoughtful - TOEFL independent essay
Writing FeedbackNourNour - Jan 24, 2016 / Hiddengrace - Jan 24, 2016
|Small community environment prevents loneliness and social isolation
4 - Le, your opening statement does not function in the manner that it is supposed to within the essay. The...
Writing Feedbackbaongoc - Dec 24, 2015 / vangiespen - Jan 24, 2016
|Ielts task 2 essay: the responsibility of rich countries for helping the poorer nations
2 - Long, keep in mind that in the format of an academic essay, the opening paragraph must always include your...
Writing Feedbacktkb1311173 - Jan 24, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 24, 2016
|I have always believed that hard work is the key to success - TOEFL independent essay
Writing FeedbackNourNour - Jan 23, 2016 / NourNour - Jan 24, 2016
|Journal on The Ice Master as Bob Bartlett
3 - Samuel, while the essay is well written and you are most welcoming of all instructive criticism, I am not...
Writing FeedbackSamuelsam123 - Jan 23, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 23, 2016
|A rule of the same percentage of male and female learners in a school shouldn't apply - it's harmful
6 - Your introduction is flawed in the sense that you do not accurately restate the prompt. You should have given...
Writing FeedbackHidro13 - Jan 11, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 23, 2016
|IELTS Writing Task 2 - Why do we need music?
5 - You inverted your discussion of the essay. While A premium amount of discussion should have been reserved for...
Writing FeedbackHidro13 - Dec 24, 2015 / vangiespen - Jan 23, 2016
|A big city is better for children to grow up- TOEFL independent essay
Writing FeedbackNourNour - Jan 23, 2016 / NourNour - Jan 23, 2016
|Many people watch television and movies on a daily basis. This can affect their behavior. How?
Writing FeedbackNourNour - Jan 22, 2016 / NourNour - Jan 23, 2016
|The number of species extinctions in tropical forests shows an upward trend
3 - ... proportion about OF THE extinctions of species ... Overall, the number of species extinctions in tropical forests shows...
Writing Feedbacksharfina - Jan 22, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 23, 2016
|Small society was the most favorite place for living but now inhabitants move to the vast cities
2 - Time being changes the people'S habits. Although A small society had CAN become the most... prior times THE PAST,...
Writing FeedbackBayuwibowo - Jan 22, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 23, 2016
|The replacement of traditional foods with junk eating from other countries brings a negative impact
5 - Le, your introduction needs to deliver the 3 sentence minimum requirement in order to be considered a complete and...
Writing Feedbacklethaophuong287 - Jan 22, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 23, 2016
|In order to work in a productive atmosphere, co-workers must have some specific characteristics.
Writing FeedbackNourNour - Jan 22, 2016 / NourNour - Jan 23, 2016
|Link of the world: iPhone from birth to death Nowadays, with the development of industry and technol
2 - What exactly is the central topic of this research paper? What are you trying to discuss and present to...
Writing Feedbackiceunicorna - Jan 23, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 23, 2016
|The proportion of population in a particular area, totaling a 16 year-period
2 - I have spotted some errors as you have problem with subject-verb agreement. long sentence and I...
Writing Feedbacksharfina - Jan 22, 2016 / tiaDS - Jan 23, 2016
|The percentage of human impact on plants and animals is seven times as much as some natural events
2 - here, you have to describe the accurate key points. As there is time duration, you should use language...
Writing FeedbackSaputra Putra - Jan 22, 2016 / tiaDS - Jan 23, 2016
|IELTS TASK 1 information about how heat is released and energy is used
2 - According to the data, the place where the wind AIR is blowing COMING into consists of various forms. ......
Writing Feedbackilankelo21 - Jan 22, 2016 / annahatef - Jan 23, 2016
|One day visit to your country -TOEFL independent essay
Writing FeedbackNourNour - Jan 19, 2016 / vangue cloud - Jan 22, 2016
|A description of the number of visitor utilizing three main airports in New York City
Writing Feedbackyus72 - Jan 21, 2016 / desgit33 - Jan 22, 2016
|Exercise and absenteeism in two departments of a major company
4 - In my opinion your Opening paragraph was so confusing, let me try to rewrite your first paragraph. A...
Writing Feedbacksharfina - Jan 21, 2016 / Bayuwibowo - Jan 22, 2016
|IELTS TASK 2: ELECTRONIC MEDIA IS A THREAT TO HUMAN PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP
2 - toTo begin, those who contradict ... theThe reason of this is that electronic gadgets, that allowenabling people to...
Writing Feedbackichatea07 - Jan 22, 2016 / sir99 - Jan 22, 2016
|Home / Writing Feedback|