|Writing Feedback [23,070] - page 152 of 385|
|Diagram process creates a black tea - a four-step process (IELTS TASK 1)
4 - Bayu, sorry about that. I am always inspired to help the students whom I see are really trying hard...
Writing FeedbackBayuwibowo - Oct 4, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 4, 2015
|Cleaning up the environment essay - I WRITE it again give me your opinion and score IELTS
Writing Feedbacksarasajedi - Oct 3, 2015 / sarasajedi - Oct 4, 2015
|IELTS TASK 2 - Little leisure time and pressure to work hard on studies
2 - Hello bayu, let me to try give some suggestion on your passage. It will lead the pupil to has...
Writing FeedbackBayuwibowo - Oct 4, 2015 / irfan727 - Oct 4, 2015
|research of ITT qualifications in 2-year period
Writing Feedbackirhame - Oct 1, 2015 / Bayuwibowo - Oct 4, 2015
|The diagram illustrates the manufacturing processes for producing good black tea
2 - Your overview of the report is acceptable. Although, it can stand to use a little improvement. Let me show...
Writing Feedbackirhame - Oct 4, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 4, 2015
|The school systems cause children have little leisure time and study in under pressure
2 - Irham, you are showing an improvement with each essay that you write. I can see the effort you are...
Writing Feedbackirhame - Oct 3, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 3, 2015
|Thanh tu Student - evaluated nail salon
2 - Thanh, the essay that you wrote is alright for a beginners essay. The thoughts are clear and have an...
Writing Feedbackpie apple - Oct 3, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 3, 2015
|Is smoking bad? Nicotine Addiction essay.
2 - Put the staement frst- In scnd paragraph HEALTH not healthy People using to tobacco have higher gravity cancer than...
Writing Feedbacktpkhai - Oct 3, 2015 / Jaggi7921 - Oct 3, 2015
|Do we become used to bad news? Information in the world today.
3 - Thank you very much for you helpful and constructive comments. I'd really appreciate, and I try to implement your...
Writing Feedbackmoman_1031 - Oct 3, 2015 / moman_1031 - Oct 3, 2015
|Unethical methods of advertising - unacceptable in a society
5 - Not bad Jag. By using some personal knowledge in supporting your claims, you actually strengthened your point of view...
Writing FeedbackJaggi7921 - Oct 3, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 3, 2015
|In this era, the media have held the prominent thing in almost all aspects
4 - For both of your advantages and disadvantages , you should provide more points and supporting evidence to support your...
Writing Feedbackirfan727 - Sep 28, 2015 / CPlayer - Oct 3, 2015
|CAMS Grade 9 Narrative about Stepdad "Never Had I Seen Him like This"
2 - Hi Dominic :-) I am wondering if you cannot better improve the beginning of your essay. It just seems...
Writing Feedbackdsuntay - Oct 3, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 3, 2015
|The short story on Abraham Lincoln -- An Attempt
Writing FeedbackApprentice - Oct 3, 2015 / Apprentice - Oct 3, 2015
|"Moving to a New World" - (from Pakistan to the United States) - Personal Statement for college
2 - Tayyaba, you wrote a good response to the essay. However, I don't really think that starting the response out...
Writing FeedbackTayyaba786 - Oct 2, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 2, 2015
|Can we lose our cultural identity because of the mass communications and transport? IELTS TASK 2
4 - Some changes from the intro: - Globalization is entirely avoidable - The influx of cutting-edge technologies in both communication...
Writing FeedbackBayuwibowo - Oct 1, 2015 / eddies - Oct 1, 2015
|The sale numbers of known cellular brands in the middle of the first decade of the 21st century
Writing Feedbackirfan727 - Sep 30, 2015 / eddies - Oct 1, 2015
|A lot of folks argue that the level of violence action between teenagers have increased
3 - To conclude, although criminal actions of people under 18 age group isare less attention about social and emotion learning...
Writing Feedbackhasbi - Sep 30, 2015 / irhame - Oct 1, 2015
|Farming start: 11,000y ago. Was the Neolithic Revolution a positive or negative impact on humanity?
2 - Overall, people were better off after the Neolithic Revolution than they were before it. - Taras, complete your introductory...
Writing Feedbackbasil664 - Sep 30, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 1, 2015
|People in America vs Asian and European dwellers - Rail transport table usage in four countries
3 - Thank you @Vangiespen for your valuable inputs I am sorry, if i still creates a lot of grammar...
Writing FeedbackBayuwibowo - Sep 29, 2015 / Bayuwibowo - Oct 1, 2015
|IELTS: Reason for fathers stay at home while mothers go out to work. Is it positive or negative?
2 - Isabelle, try to expand your introduction to the prompt. It falls short at 2 sentences. If you can bring...
Writing Feedbackdb723 - Oct 1, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 1, 2015
|The deficiency of social value leads to the global loss of cultural identity
2 - Irham, I absolutely love that you were able to cite a reliable source for your percentage data. If you...
Writing Feedbackirhame - Oct 1, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 1, 2015
|International exchange program - is it advantageous for the secondary level students?
4 - Tnx vangie- I see I have problem in singular or plural. Later I will update more essay and try...
Writing FeedbackJaggi7921 - Oct 1, 2015 / Jaggi7921 - Oct 1, 2015
|The programs as a charity or helping neighbourhood have a lot of advantages for students
Writing FeedbackDiqon - Sep 21, 2015 / db723 - Oct 1, 2015
|The youngsters do crime not only because of their elders but also of other severe circumstances
3 - Firstly in the introduction it's wrong to say HALF OF THE PEOPLE, and another thing that I noted u...
Writing Feedbackirfan727 - Sep 30, 2015 / Jaggi7921 - Oct 1, 2015
|Nokia had the biggest market share among the cell phone brands between 2005 and 2006
2 - Hasbi, you need to clarify your introduction. Indicate that the figures are based upon the factory output from 2005-2006....
Writing Feedbackhasbi - Sep 30, 2015 / vangiespen - Sep 30, 2015
|IELTS TASK 2 - Big Influence of media-rich society
5 - hello bayu,,let me try to give some suggestion on your passage. based on your question, you need to describe...
Writing FeedbackBayuwibowo - Sep 29, 2015 / irfan727 - Sep 30, 2015
|IELTS TASK 2 - High crime rate in youngster is parents and teachers responsibility
2 - ok bayu, let me give some suggestions on your passage I definitely agree with that psychologist statement it...
Writing FeedbackBayuwibowo - Sep 30, 2015 / irfan727 - Sep 30, 2015
|Market share of the well-known mobile phone brands between 2005 and 2006
3 - Hi...bayuwibowo.. your overview is very good, but, you must consider about comparison or thesis statements about the data. and...
Writing FeedbackBayuwibowo - Sep 30, 2015 / hasbi - Sep 30, 2015
|Global Mobile Phone Sales in a 2-year period
2 - The chart illustrates the global market share of mobile phone cell phone sales in a 2-year period for manufactures...
Writing Feedbackirhame - Sep 30, 2015 / hasbi - Sep 30, 2015
|Worldwide Mobile Phone Sales ( % share of market)
2 - In 2005, the biggest proportion of hand-phone market was Nokia, representing at 32.5%.A lthough it was popular, byin 2006,...
Writing Feedbackanggicaroot - Sep 30, 2015 / irhame - Sep 30, 2015
|Violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18
NEW - Question : Recent figures show an increase in violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18. Some psychologists...
Writing Feedbackanggicaroot - Sep 30, 2015 / — -
|The chart gives information about the proportion of rail transport in four different states in 2007
Writing FeedbackSuhel92 - Sep 29, 2015 / Bayuwibowo - Sep 30, 2015
|Basic factor of the violent crime increase among teens is less learning from parents and teachers
3 - hello irhame.. let me try to rewrite your introduction In this day and age, the huge violent crime...
Writing Feedbackirhame - Sep 30, 2015 / Bayuwibowo - Sep 30, 2015
|TED talk regarding nuclear power - the nuclear fusion reactor is built.
Writing Feedbackaseprudi - Sep 30, 2015 / vangiespen - Sep 30, 2015
|TASK II : difficult to escape the influence of the media on our lives
5 - Hallo Abraham, I am so sorry, the phrase of "In conclusion" is same as "the aforementioned evidence"...
Writing FeedbackAbraham22 - Sep 28, 2015 / aseprudi - Sep 30, 2015
|Essay on George Hewes from the American Revolution
2 - For George Hewes, who was forced into the occupation of being a shoemaker, life did not treat him well....
Writing Feedbackalexarae713 - Sep 28, 2015 / LaneH - Sep 29, 2015
|The table chart describes the use of trail, categorized by how many people use it
6 - That is a nice question. Both words mean to describe the distance traveled. If you look up the meaning...
Writing FeedbackAbraham22 - Sep 29, 2015 / vangiespen - Sep 29, 2015
|The table about Rail transport in five different countries
2 - Hello carrot.. let me try to helps you although my tips not always right.. Overall, it can be...
Writing Feedbackanggicaroot - Sep 29, 2015 / Bayuwibowo - Sep 29, 2015
|Horror Essay continuation of the book : The house on the Brink. Need more ideas.
5 - Heyyy I answered your other post too :) My advice is read some stuff and get some inspiration! Poe...
Writing FeedbackSamuelsam123 - Aug 31, 2015 / whipsnade97 - Sep 29, 2015
|Living in a big city - means more robbers and criminals around
7 - dear friends.l wrote first time essay l know l have a lot mistakes and l try correct my mistake...
Writing FeedbackARCHTECT - Sep 28, 2015 / ARCHTECT - Sep 29, 2015
|Some people feel that certain workers like nurses, doctors and teachers are undervalued -IELTS
3 - Hi vangiespen Thank you for your notes In my opinion it is right that actors put their lives online...
Writing Feedbackhayaalqasem - Sep 28, 2015 / hayaalqasem - Sep 29, 2015
|Write a story that happens in a mysterious place.
4 - When i open my eyes, i see nothing. Everything was a pitch black. I stretch my arm across. Grabbing...
Writing FeedbackSamuelsam123 - Sep 29, 2015 / anggicaroot - Sep 29, 2015
|TOEFL: Should students have longer vacations than before?
2 - Shang, one of the elements that is tested in the TOEFL test is your ability to comprehend the essay...
Writing FeedbackClare - Sep 29, 2015 / vangiespen - Sep 29, 2015
|Selecting an employees based on age - how this development is seen?
NEW - Topic- in some countries it is illegal for company to reject job applicants for their age. Is this a...
Writing FeedbackJaggi7921 - Sep 29, 2015 / — -
|The TEDTalk summary regarding education. Writing flows and checking grammar.
2 - Asep, while you really presented a good summary, the grammar issues really abound. The sentences are not formed properly...
Writing Feedbackaseprudi - Sep 29, 2015 / vangiespen - Sep 29, 2015
|In this essay, I would argue that media has positive and negative impact for people's live.
2 - Media is the biggest essential thing for human [...]let me try to rewrite you introduction As media is considered...
Writing Feedbackanggicaroot - Sep 28, 2015 / Diqon - Sep 28, 2015
|Observation of rail transport in 4 developed countries in 2007
2 - hello,, i'll try give some suggestions on your passage. After that, UK folks more likely to bring more goods...
Writing Feedbackirhame - Sep 28, 2015 / irfan727 - Sep 28, 2015
|Rail transport in four countries (UK, US, Japan and Italy) in 2007
Writing Feedbackhasbi - Sep 28, 2015 / Bayuwibowo - Sep 28, 2015
|We won't go far away from media influence - advantage and disadvantage living in full-media society
Writing Feedbackirhame - Sep 28, 2015 / Bayuwibowo - Sep 28, 2015
|High school students should voluntarily participate in payable community services
4 - O n the other hand, we should consider that community service could be optional for the students. The school...
Writing Feedbackdanielwong - Sep 2, 2015 / irhame - Sep 28, 2015
|Buying things online is very convenient. Simple trade brings some demerits though.
5 - -Particularly, in shopping which they prefer to buy what they need such uslike clothes, groceries even air ticket via...
Writing Feedbackirfan727 - Sep 27, 2015 / anggicaroot - Sep 28, 2015
|Task 2 IELTS - Some organizations believe that their employees should dress smartly.
4 - hi I would like to rewrite this paragraph First, getting dressed in the working appearance has not to be...
Writing Feedbackirfan727 - Sep 27, 2015 / hayaalqasem - Sep 28, 2015
|The inclination between social activities and studying at school
NEW - For future career success, relating well to other people is more important than studying hard at school. I...
Writing FeedbackClare - Sep 28, 2015 / — -
|TASK II : own business instead of working for a company or organisation
3 - Aditya, your essay is a grammatical nightmare but a reader can somewhat understand what the point you are trying...
Writing FeedbackAbraham22 - Sep 27, 2015 / vangiespen - Sep 28, 2015
|Many awesome inventions in many aspects has been increased technology, education and transportation
2 - Nawaporn, I like the essence of your essay. It shows that you completely understood the prompt and, while limited...
Writing FeedbackRainy_Fon - Sep 27, 2015 / vangiespen - Sep 27, 2015
|I decided to start college straight out of high school. Great parenting of both - my mom and dad.
NEW - My mom and dad are both great parents with similar ways of parenting but also very different. Do you...
Writing FeedbackPh9436 - Sep 27, 2015 / — -
|Technology is not foster our business only but also make people's daily life easier.
Writing Feedbackmadanoli - Jul 19, 2015 / madanoli - Sep 27, 2015
|Talking about myself - environment, culture, or family history helped to shape my identity
5 - Catherine, I have a different take on your essay than Lakisha. My opinion is that you do not really...
Writing Feedbackcpham7780 - Sep 26, 2015 / vangiespen - Sep 26, 2015
|Many governments in the world spend large amounts of money on art.
4 - however due to recent economic downfall and recession,is many countries think this type of lavish spending can an should...
Writing Feedbackmarydan84 - Sep 26, 2015 / echo5016 - Sep 26, 2015
|Today people are not polite to each other, but why to blame; the world if full of fierce competition
2 - Shang, you wrote a pretty good essay. However, the prompt that you responded to in your essay does not...
Writing FeedbackClare - Sep 26, 2015 / vangiespen - Sep 26, 2015
|Home / Writing Feedback|