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|Nokia had the biggest market share among the cell phone brands between 2005 and 2006
2 - Hasbi, you need to clarify your introduction. Indicate that the figures are based upon the factory output from 2005-2006....
Writing Feedbackhasbi - Sep 30, 2015 / vangiespen - Sep 30, 2015
|IELTS TASK 2 - Big Influence of media-rich society
5 - hello bayu,,let me try to give some suggestion on your passage. based on your question, you need to describe...
Writing FeedbackBayuwibowo - Sep 29, 2015 / irfan727 - Sep 30, 2015
|IELTS TASK 2 - High crime rate in youngster is parents and teachers responsibility
2 - ok bayu, let me give some suggestions on your passage I definitely agree with that psychologist statement it...
Writing FeedbackBayuwibowo - Sep 30, 2015 / irfan727 - Sep 30, 2015
|Market share of the well-known mobile phone brands between 2005 and 2006
3 - Hi...bayuwibowo.. your overview is very good, but, you must consider about comparison or thesis statements about the data. and...
Writing FeedbackBayuwibowo - Sep 30, 2015 / hasbi - Sep 30, 2015
|Global Mobile Phone Sales in a 2-year period
2 - The chart illustrates the global market share of mobile phone cell phone sales in a 2-year period for manufactures...
Writing Feedbackirhame - Sep 30, 2015 / hasbi - Sep 30, 2015
|Worldwide Mobile Phone Sales ( % share of market)
2 - In 2005, the biggest proportion of hand-phone market was Nokia, representing at 32.5%.A lthough it was popular, byin 2006,...
Writing Feedbackanggicaroot - Sep 30, 2015 / irhame - Sep 30, 2015
|Violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18
NEW - Question : Recent figures show an increase in violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18. Some psychologists...
Writing Feedbackanggicaroot - Sep 30, 2015 / — -
|The chart gives information about the proportion of rail transport in four different states in 2007
Writing FeedbackSuhel92 - Sep 29, 2015 / Bayuwibowo - Sep 30, 2015
|Basic factor of the violent crime increase among teens is less learning from parents and teachers
3 - hello irhame.. let me try to rewrite your introduction In this day and age, the huge violent crime...
Writing Feedbackirhame - Sep 30, 2015 / Bayuwibowo - Sep 30, 2015
|TED talk regarding nuclear power - the nuclear fusion reactor is built.
Writing Feedbackaseprudi - Sep 30, 2015 / vangiespen - Sep 30, 2015
|TASK II : difficult to escape the influence of the media on our lives
5 - Hallo Abraham, I am so sorry, the phrase of "In conclusion" is same as "the aforementioned evidence"...
Writing FeedbackAbraham22 - Sep 28, 2015 / aseprudi - Sep 30, 2015
|Essay on George Hewes from the American Revolution
2 - For George Hewes, who was forced into the occupation of being a shoemaker, life did not treat him well....
Writing Feedbackalexarae713 - Sep 28, 2015 / LaneH - Sep 29, 2015
|The table chart describes the use of trail, categorized by how many people use it
6 - That is a nice question. Both words mean to describe the distance traveled. If you look up the meaning...
Writing FeedbackAbraham22 - Sep 29, 2015 / vangiespen - Sep 29, 2015
|The table about Rail transport in five different countries
2 - Hello carrot.. let me try to helps you although my tips not always right.. Overall, it can be...
Writing Feedbackanggicaroot - Sep 29, 2015 / Bayuwibowo - Sep 29, 2015
|Horror Essay continuation of the book : The house on the Brink. Need more ideas.
5 - Heyyy I answered your other post too :) My advice is read some stuff and get some inspiration! Poe...
Writing FeedbackSamuelsam123 - Aug 31, 2015 / whipsnade97 - Sep 29, 2015
|Living in a big city - means more robbers and criminals around
7 - dear friends.l wrote first time essay l know l have a lot mistakes and l try correct my mistake...
Writing FeedbackARCHTECT - Sep 28, 2015 / ARCHTECT - Sep 29, 2015
|Some people feel that certain workers like nurses, doctors and teachers are undervalued -IELTS
3 - Hi vangiespen Thank you for your notes In my opinion it is right that actors put their lives online...
Writing Feedbackhayaalqasem - Sep 28, 2015 / hayaalqasem - Sep 29, 2015
|Write a story that happens in a mysterious place.
4 - When i open my eyes, i see nothing. Everything was a pitch black. I stretch my arm across. Grabbing...
Writing FeedbackSamuelsam123 - Sep 29, 2015 / anggicaroot - Sep 29, 2015
|TOEFL: Should students have longer vacations than before?
2 - Shang, one of the elements that is tested in the TOEFL test is your ability to comprehend the essay...
Writing FeedbackClare - Sep 29, 2015 / vangiespen - Sep 29, 2015
|Selecting an employees based on age - how this development is seen?
NEW - Topic- in some countries it is illegal for company to reject job applicants for their age. Is this a...
Writing FeedbackJaggi7921 - Sep 29, 2015 / — -
|The TEDTalk summary regarding education. Writing flows and checking grammar.
2 - Asep, while you really presented a good summary, the grammar issues really abound. The sentences are not formed properly...
Writing Feedbackaseprudi - Sep 29, 2015 / vangiespen - Sep 29, 2015
|In this essay, I would argue that media has positive and negative impact for people's live.
2 - Media is the biggest essential thing for human [...]let me try to rewrite you introduction As media is considered...
Writing Feedbackanggicaroot - Sep 28, 2015 / Diqon - Sep 28, 2015
|Observation of rail transport in 4 developed countries in 2007
2 - hello,, i'll try give some suggestions on your passage. After that, UK folks more likely to bring more goods...
Writing Feedbackirhame - Sep 28, 2015 / irfan727 - Sep 28, 2015
|Rail transport in four countries (UK, US, Japan and Italy) in 2007
Writing Feedbackhasbi - Sep 28, 2015 / Bayuwibowo - Sep 28, 2015
|We won't go far away from media influence - advantage and disadvantage living in full-media society
Writing Feedbackirhame - Sep 28, 2015 / Bayuwibowo - Sep 28, 2015
|Buying things online is very convenient. Simple trade brings some demerits though.
5 - -Particularly, in shopping which they prefer to buy what they need such uslike clothes, groceries even air ticket via...
Writing Feedbackirfan727 - Sep 27, 2015 / anggicaroot - Sep 28, 2015
|Task 2 IELTS - Some organizations believe that their employees should dress smartly.
4 - hi I would like to rewrite this paragraph First, getting dressed in the working appearance has not to be...
Writing Feedbackirfan727 - Sep 27, 2015 / hayaalqasem - Sep 28, 2015
|The inclination between social activities and studying at school
NEW - For future career success, relating well to other people is more important than studying hard at school. I...
Writing FeedbackClare - Sep 28, 2015 / — -
|TASK II : own business instead of working for a company or organisation
3 - Aditya, your essay is a grammatical nightmare but a reader can somewhat understand what the point you are trying...
Writing FeedbackAbraham22 - Sep 27, 2015 / vangiespen - Sep 28, 2015
|Many awesome inventions in many aspects has been increased technology, education and transportation
2 - Nawaporn, I like the essence of your essay. It shows that you completely understood the prompt and, while limited...
Writing FeedbackRainy_Fon - Sep 27, 2015 / vangiespen - Sep 27, 2015
|I decided to start college straight out of high school. Great parenting of both - my mom and dad.
NEW - My mom and dad are both great parents with similar ways of parenting but also very different. Do you...
Writing FeedbackPh9436 - Sep 27, 2015 / — -
|Technology is not foster our business only but also make people's daily life easier.
Writing Feedbackmadanoli - Jul 19, 2015 / madanoli - Sep 27, 2015
|Talking about myself - environment, culture, or family history helped to shape my identity
5 - Catherine, I have a different take on your essay than Lakisha. My opinion is that you do not really...
Writing Feedbackcpham7780 - Sep 26, 2015 / vangiespen - Sep 26, 2015
|Many governments in the world spend large amounts of money on art.
4 - however due to recent economic downfall and recession,is many countries think this type of lavish spending can an should...
Writing Feedbackmarydan84 - Sep 26, 2015 / echo5016 - Sep 26, 2015
|Today people are not polite to each other, but why to blame; the world if full of fierce competition
2 - Shang, you wrote a pretty good essay. However, the prompt that you responded to in your essay does not...
Writing FeedbackClare - Sep 26, 2015 / vangiespen - Sep 26, 2015
|Professionalism of an organisation requires the introduction of an proper dress code
4 - Please take note of the corrections that I made previously which you omitted or chose to ignore in your...
Writing FeedbackAbraham22 - Sep 25, 2015 / vangiespen - Sep 25, 2015
|"A Walk". Creative writing personal essay on a storm (descriptive) i need help making it longer
3 - I would like to help you with your essay. I would like to give you three suggestions or approaches...
Writing FeedbackMcMetal - Sep 24, 2015 / lcturn87 - Sep 25, 2015
|Education is a critical element to prosperity of any nation. Justify.
3 - Thanks for the prompt feedback. I have certainly noted the points highlighted by you and will put them in...
Writing Feedbackamicalrahul - Sep 25, 2015 / amicalrahul - Sep 25, 2015
|IELTS TASK 2: The best way to solve the environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel.
2 - Isabelle you should applaud yourself for a well developed essay. While I will be the first to critique that...
Writing Feedbackdb723 - Sep 25, 2015 / vangiespen - Sep 25, 2015
|IELTS TASK 1 - The Measurement of Parent Happiness With Children
6 - Overall, it can be seen that the parents which are fairly happy with their children hashave dominated in both...
Writing FeedbackBayuwibowo - Sep 20, 2015 / amicalrahul - Sep 25, 2015
|The graph shows the number of West Indians and Indians and Pakistanis Immigrating to the UK
2 - Hiep, your overview seems a bit short. Most overviews, regardless of which essay test you are preparing for, contain...
Writing Feedbackbillyabbot - Sep 24, 2015 / vangiespen - Sep 25, 2015
|Task 2 - The clothes people wear are the most indication of what they are like
6 - Guys above said very well. I think your essay need be focused on grammar and, expression such as Main...
Writing Feedbackirfan727 - Sep 21, 2015 / billyabbot - Sep 24, 2015
|There is nothing that technology can't reach - it make children less creative (toefl writing)
4 - Hi, Two guys above showed your mistakes that I totally agree. I think your vocabulary and grammar is...
Writing Feedbackbeat_toefl - Sep 24, 2015 / billyabbot - Sep 24, 2015
|Cbest - At some point in our lives, all of us have focused some sort of rejection or defeat
Writing Feedbackpbhutiani - Sep 24, 2015 / vangiespen - Sep 24, 2015
|Space exploration requires vast sums of money. Justifiable?
2 - Rahul, your essay should be along the lines of a compare and contrast essay because the prompt asks you...
Writing Feedbackamicalrahul - Sep 24, 2015 / vangiespen - Sep 24, 2015
|Books or computers for learning? Most students who use technology are more engaged with their study
Writing FeedbackIsabellaRes - Sep 23, 2015 / vangiespen - Sep 23, 2015
|Salary imbalance between entertainment profession and profession like doctor and teacher.
3 - Protocol, I do not think you are very familiar with the salary that celebrities like actors, and professionals like...
Writing Feedbackprotocol78 - Sep 22, 2015 / vangiespen - Sep 23, 2015
|Academic writing task 2 - The influence of modern world to a healthy lifestyle
3 - People in the pace of modern life are unlikely to have unhealthy lifestyles. While it is true, since...
Writing Feedbackirfan727 - Sep 11, 2015 / eddies - Sep 23, 2015
|Secondary education has been dominated among Bulgarians who wanted to live abroad in 2000s
4 - The bar graph compares the proportion of people with three different education backgrounds, who planned to leave Bulgaria....
Writing Feedbackirfan727 - Sep 11, 2015 / eddies - Sep 23, 2015
|Children face up unhealthy lifestyle - youngers tend to do severe modus vivendi
5 - Here is my edits. Please consider some changes; Children today are not as healthy as in the past....
Writing Feedbackirfan727 - Sep 13, 2015 / eddies - Sep 22, 2015
|Task 1 - Total words spoken to child compare with Children's total Vocabulary size
4 - Let me help you polish the first paragraph. The two line graphs show the relationship in the numbers of...
Writing Feedbackirfan727 - Sep 14, 2015 / eddies - Sep 22, 2015
|The diagrams describe how a turbine can produce electricity from renewable energy
2 - As discussed in the previous post, I strongly suggest developing a 2-sentence overview. The overview presenting the general trend...
Writing Feedbackirfan727 - Sep 16, 2015 / eddies - Sep 22, 2015
|Summary from TED's video. Writing flows and grammar.
2 - Everyone should learn to gain self-confident. Since it is believed that self-confidence brings more happiness, self-confident people are...
Writing Feedbackalif - Sep 22, 2015 / eddies - Sep 22, 2015
|A summarize from TED Talk from Bill Gates who reveals how to improve teaching quality
2 - When it comes to an opening sentence, it is always good to start with a short sentence. This is...
Writing Feedbackaseprudi - Sep 22, 2015 / eddies - Sep 22, 2015
|Negative effect of electronic media on personal relationship - ielts task 2
3 - All parts in the world are electronically connected. As such, it is commonly seen that some people living...
Writing FeedbackBayuwibowo - Sep 15, 2015 / eddies - Sep 22, 2015
|The correlation between family talks and a different number of the vocabulary used by children
3 - The two line graphs show the comparison between verbal words and the amount of vocabularies in use for...
Writing FeedbackBayuwibowo - Sep 14, 2015 / eddies - Sep 22, 2015
|Inhabitants live in several different places - second task for IELTS
Writing FeedbackBayuwibowo - Sep 7, 2015 / eddies - Sep 22, 2015
|Wind turbines - the figure describes how the elictricity is made and best place to locate generators
3 - The diagrams compare how the wind turbines are constructed and placed in different areas. What stand out from the...
Writing FeedbackBayuwibowo - Sep 16, 2015 / eddies - Sep 22, 2015
|How the air circulates in a house and waste of energy due to heat losses - IELTS diagram
3 - The diagram illustrates how air circulates in a house and it cause waste of energy due to heat losses...
Writing FeedbackBayuwibowo - Sep 16, 2015 / eddies - Sep 22, 2015
|The clothes indicate what kind of persons we are - IELTS TASK 2
4 - Hallo Abraham, I will offer you some suggestion regarding your essay, particularly on the first body. This part...
Writing FeedbackAbraham22 - Sep 21, 2015 / aseprudi - Sep 22, 2015
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