|Home / Writing Feedback [23,496] - page 160 of 392|
|The inclination between social activities and studying at school
NEW - For future career success, relating well to other people is more important than studying hard at school. I...
Writing FeedbackClare - Sep 28, 2015 / — -
|TASK II : own business instead of working for a company or organisation
3 - Aditya, your essay is a grammatical nightmare but a reader can somewhat understand what the point you are trying...
Writing FeedbackAbraham22 - Sep 27, 2015 / vangiespen - Sep 28, 2015
|Many awesome inventions in many aspects has been increased technology, education and transportation
2 - Nawaporn, I like the essence of your essay. It shows that you completely understood the prompt and, while limited...
Writing FeedbackRainy_Fon - Sep 27, 2015 / vangiespen - Sep 27, 2015
|I decided to start college straight out of high school. Great parenting of both - my mom and dad.
NEW - My mom and dad are both great parents with similar ways of parenting but also very different. Do you...
Writing FeedbackPh9436 - Sep 27, 2015 / — -
|Technology is not foster our business only but also make people's daily life easier.
Writing Feedbackmadanoli - Jul 19, 2015 / madanoli - Sep 27, 2015
|Talking about myself - environment, culture, or family history helped to shape my identity
5 - Catherine, I have a different take on your essay than Lakisha. My opinion is that you do not really...
Writing Feedbackcpham7780 - Sep 26, 2015 / vangiespen - Sep 26, 2015
|Many governments in the world spend large amounts of money on art.
4 - however due to recent economic downfall and recession,is many countries think this type of lavish spending can an should...
Writing Feedbackmarydan84 - Sep 26, 2015 / echo5016 - Sep 26, 2015
|Today people are not polite to each other, but why to blame; the world if full of fierce competition
2 - Shang, you wrote a pretty good essay. However, the prompt that you responded to in your essay does not...
Writing FeedbackClare - Sep 26, 2015 / vangiespen - Sep 26, 2015
|Professionalism of an organisation requires the introduction of an proper dress code
4 - Please take note of the corrections that I made previously which you omitted or chose to ignore in your...
Writing FeedbackAbraham22 - Sep 25, 2015 / vangiespen - Sep 25, 2015
|"A Walk". Creative writing personal essay on a storm (descriptive) i need help making it longer
3 - I would like to help you with your essay. I would like to give you three suggestions or approaches...
Writing FeedbackMcMetal - Sep 24, 2015 / lcturn87 - Sep 25, 2015
|Education is a critical element to prosperity of any nation. Justify.
3 - Thanks for the prompt feedback. I have certainly noted the points highlighted by you and will put them in...
Writing Feedbackamicalrahul - Sep 25, 2015 / amicalrahul - Sep 25, 2015
|IELTS TASK 2: The best way to solve the environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel.
2 - Isabelle you should applaud yourself for a well developed essay. While I will be the first to critique that...
Writing Feedbackdb723 - Sep 25, 2015 / vangiespen - Sep 25, 2015
|IELTS TASK 1 - The Measurement of Parent Happiness With Children
6 - Overall, it can be seen that the parents which are fairly happy with their children hashave dominated in both...
Writing FeedbackBayuwibowo - Sep 20, 2015 / amicalrahul - Sep 25, 2015
|The graph shows the number of West Indians and Indians and Pakistanis Immigrating to the UK
2 - Hiep, your overview seems a bit short. Most overviews, regardless of which essay test you are preparing for, contain...
Writing Feedbackbillyabbot - Sep 24, 2015 / vangiespen - Sep 25, 2015
|Task 2 - The clothes people wear are the most indication of what they are like
6 - Guys above said very well. I think your essay need be focused on grammar and, expression such as Main...
Writing Feedbackirfan727 - Sep 21, 2015 / billyabbot - Sep 24, 2015
|There is nothing that technology can't reach - it make children less creative (toefl writing)
4 - Hi, Two guys above showed your mistakes that I totally agree. I think your vocabulary and grammar is...
Writing Feedbackbeat_toefl - Sep 24, 2015 / billyabbot - Sep 24, 2015
|Cbest - At some point in our lives, all of us have focused some sort of rejection or defeat
Writing Feedbackpbhutiani - Sep 24, 2015 / vangiespen - Sep 24, 2015
|Space exploration requires vast sums of money. Justifiable?
2 - Rahul, your essay should be along the lines of a compare and contrast essay because the prompt asks you...
Writing Feedbackamicalrahul - Sep 24, 2015 / vangiespen - Sep 24, 2015
|Books or computers for learning? Most students who use technology are more engaged with their study
Writing FeedbackIsabellaRes - Sep 23, 2015 / vangiespen - Sep 23, 2015
|Salary imbalance between entertainment profession and profession like doctor and teacher.
3 - Protocol, I do not think you are very familiar with the salary that celebrities like actors, and professionals like...
Writing Feedbackprotocol78 - Sep 22, 2015 / vangiespen - Sep 23, 2015
|Academic writing task 2 - The influence of modern world to a healthy lifestyle
3 - People in the pace of modern life are unlikely to have unhealthy lifestyles. While it is true, since...
Writing Feedbackirfan727 - Sep 11, 2015 / eddies - Sep 23, 2015
|Secondary education has been dominated among Bulgarians who wanted to live abroad in 2000s
4 - The bar graph compares the proportion of people with three different education backgrounds, who planned to leave Bulgaria....
Writing Feedbackirfan727 - Sep 11, 2015 / eddies - Sep 23, 2015
|Children face up unhealthy lifestyle - youngers tend to do severe modus vivendi
5 - Here is my edits. Please consider some changes; Children today are not as healthy as in the past....
Writing Feedbackirfan727 - Sep 13, 2015 / eddies - Sep 22, 2015
|Task 1 - Total words spoken to child compare with Children's total Vocabulary size
4 - Let me help you polish the first paragraph. The two line graphs show the relationship in the numbers of...
Writing Feedbackirfan727 - Sep 14, 2015 / eddies - Sep 22, 2015
|The diagrams describe how a turbine can produce electricity from renewable energy
2 - As discussed in the previous post, I strongly suggest developing a 2-sentence overview. The overview presenting the general trend...
Writing Feedbackirfan727 - Sep 16, 2015 / eddies - Sep 22, 2015
|Summary from TED's video. Writing flows and grammar.
2 - Everyone should learn to gain self-confident. Since it is believed that self-confidence brings more happiness, self-confident people are...
Writing Feedbackalif - Sep 22, 2015 / eddies - Sep 22, 2015
|A summarize from TED Talk from Bill Gates who reveals how to improve teaching quality
2 - When it comes to an opening sentence, it is always good to start with a short sentence. This is...
Writing Feedbackaseprudi - Sep 22, 2015 / eddies - Sep 22, 2015
|Negative effect of electronic media on personal relationship - ielts task 2
3 - All parts in the world are electronically connected. As such, it is commonly seen that some people living...
Writing FeedbackBayuwibowo - Sep 15, 2015 / eddies - Sep 22, 2015
|The correlation between family talks and a different number of the vocabulary used by children
3 - The two line graphs show the comparison between verbal words and the amount of vocabularies in use for...
Writing FeedbackBayuwibowo - Sep 14, 2015 / eddies - Sep 22, 2015
|Inhabitants live in several different places - second task for IELTS
Writing FeedbackBayuwibowo - Sep 7, 2015 / eddies - Sep 22, 2015
|Wind turbines - the figure describes how the elictricity is made and best place to locate generators
3 - The diagrams compare how the wind turbines are constructed and placed in different areas. What stand out from the...
Writing FeedbackBayuwibowo - Sep 16, 2015 / eddies - Sep 22, 2015
|How the air circulates in a house and waste of energy due to heat losses - IELTS diagram
3 - The diagram illustrates how air circulates in a house and it cause waste of energy due to heat losses...
Writing FeedbackBayuwibowo - Sep 16, 2015 / eddies - Sep 22, 2015
|The clothes indicate what kind of persons we are - IELTS TASK 2
4 - Hallo Abraham, I will offer you some suggestion regarding your essay, particularly on the first body. This part...
Writing FeedbackAbraham22 - Sep 21, 2015 / aseprudi - Sep 22, 2015
|IELTS TASK 2 - Clothes are the most important indication of your identity
6 - The popularity of fashion always changes. As such, some people are bound to keep up to date with...
Writing FeedbackBayuwibowo - Sep 21, 2015 / eddies - Sep 22, 2015
|The generator turbine is using the wind power to produce electricity in the three distinct locations
3 - The two diagrams compare how design of a wind turbine is constructed and where the location of a...
Writing FeedbackAbraham22 - Sep 16, 2015 / eddies - Sep 22, 2015
|TASK 1 : Happiness of parents with children of different ages
4 - let me help you deal rewrite the overview. Overall, what stands out from the graph shows that majority...
Writing FeedbackAbraham22 - Sep 20, 2015 / eddies - Sep 22, 2015
|RIGHT ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING
Writing Feedbackwrite2pick - Sep 19, 2015 / write2pick - Sep 22, 2015
|Analyze an Argument Task: Physical Fitness of Corpora's Citizens
4 - @lcturn87 Thank you so much for reading my essay. I found your suggestions really helpful and informative. I really...
Writing FeedbackTakeiteasy - Aug 30, 2015 / Takeiteasy - Sep 22, 2015
|The personal and work-related challenges that young people face today - TOEFL Writing
2 - Taichi, you need to review your essay for content again. Once someone reads your essay it becomes pretty obvious...
Writing FeedbackTaichi - Sep 21, 2015 / vangiespen - Sep 21, 2015
|Age limits of people to drive are an essential step in reducing traffic accidents.
Writing Feedbackanky_bhatt - Sep 21, 2015 / lcturn87 - Sep 21, 2015
|Should same-sex marriage be legalized? Argumentative essay
2 - There is an imbalance in the way that you argued this essay Hung. When you write an argumentative essay,...
Writing FeedbackHungHung - Sep 21, 2015 / vangiespen - Sep 21, 2015
|Graph: language acquisition in child (IELTS Writing Task 1)
Writing Feedbackbroerjuang - Sep 14, 2015 / Bayuwibowo - Sep 21, 2015
|The US always supported others who lost everything in natural disasters or to help build democracy
Writing Feedbackpbhutiani - Sep 20, 2015 / pbhutiani - Sep 21, 2015
|Discuss time when your ETHNIC background (or ASPECT OF YOUR IDENTITY) SIGNIFICANTLY affected ur life
Writing Feedbackagonzalez16 - Sep 20, 2015 / lcturn87 - Sep 20, 2015
|Task 1 IELTS - the results of surveys in 2005 and 2009 asking workers about their relationships
Writing Feedbackirfan727 - Sep 20, 2015 / eddies - Sep 20, 2015
|The pros and cons of working remotely
3 - although this kind of work is on the rise... You need to describe the advantages. and disadvantages in...
Writing FeedbackNguyendiep - Sep 20, 2015 / EF_Carol - Sep 20, 2015
|How having an offspring of different ages affects the parents' level of happiness?
3 - I can help you with your summary. I think you should end the first sentence with "different age...
Writing Feedbackirfan727 - Sep 20, 2015 / lcturn87 - Sep 20, 2015
|IELTS - Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to information
Writing Feedbackhayaalqasem - Sep 18, 2015 / irfan727 - Sep 20, 2015
|Following political news have become an indisputable part of students daily activities
2 - ok.. lets try to give some suggestion for you With passage of time politics is pervading all facets...
Writing FeedbackFaezeh_k1991 - Sep 20, 2015 / irfan727 - Sep 20, 2015
|Foundation school - Learning a foreign language early vs a children capability
2 - Hi Diqon, let me try to help you out here. I will be reviewing your essay paragraph by paragraph...
Writing FeedbackDiqon - Sep 20, 2015 / vangiespen - Sep 20, 2015
|IELTS TASK 1 : RELATIONSHIP WITH SUPERVISOR
2 - Misspelling : Yet, the proportion of employees feeling that they don notdo not have a supervisor or co-workers simultaneously...
Writing FeedbackAbraham22 - Sep 20, 2015 / Bayuwibowo - Sep 20, 2015
|IELTS TASK 1 - Relationships at work (with supervisor and co-workers)
5 - Thank you so much @Vangiespen , @Eddies and @Shintacandrade this is really useful suggestion. Let me learn...
Writing FeedbackBayuwibowo - Sep 19, 2015 / Bayuwibowo - Sep 20, 2015
|IELTS Task II: The purpose of business is to make money
3 - Hi Juang, these are my little comments :) ...stick to it... For this context, stick collocates with...
Writing Feedbackbroerjuang - Sep 17, 2015 / shintacandrade - Sep 20, 2015
|Task 2 IELTS - The purpose of businesses is to make money and they should concentrate only on this
4 - Since vangiespen's feedback has helped you a lot to improve your writing, I just want to give you a...
Writing Feedbackirfan727 - Sep 17, 2015 / shintacandrade - Sep 20, 2015
|It is impossible to avoid fundamental factor of business - making money
2 - Better you write using a correlative comparative for this sentence (the X-er . . . the X-er): The...
Writing FeedbackBayuwibowo - Sep 17, 2015 / shintacandrade - Sep 20, 2015
|Woman's success or position around society has a mutual connection with a good character of children
2 - Diqon, you need to review the content of your essay very well. Your opening paragraph is a mess and...
Writing FeedbackDiqon - Sep 19, 2015 / vangiespen - Sep 19, 2015
|alternatives of learning - help me to improve my CBEST writing essay
Writing FeedbackJuliah - Sep 19, 2015 / vangiespen - Sep 19, 2015
|Write a story about a brother and sister who are always trying to be better than each other.
2 - Usama, the plot you chose delves on a suspense thriller / mystery. It is a workable premise that has...
Writing Feedbackenatco - Sep 19, 2015 / vangiespen - Sep 19, 2015
|CBEST: Experimentally grouped ungraded students by the level of achievements and not by age
3 - Dear hayaalqasem thank you very much for your observation, I will have your suggestion in mind....
Writing FeedbackJuliah - Sep 18, 2015 / Juliah - Sep 19, 2015
|Many young people in the workforce today change their jobs or careers every few years.(IELTS)
3 - Hello Edward09520 The following tips are only my suggestion, maybe not all exactly right. But I still hope it...
Writing Feedbackedward09520 - Sep 19, 2015 / Bayuwibowo - Sep 19, 2015
|Home / Writing Feedback|